song of heaven
by malifcbfan1899
Summary: Keira has just been expelled from another school. But,her life changes when she gets into a fight with two Shadowhunters,Clary and Jace.They take her to the Institute where she is trained as a Shadowhunter. But,when she meets Jonathan Morgenstern,Keira finds out most unpleasant truth about herself. First story,please tell me what you think :) From OC's POV. I don't own anything


It wasn't enough that I was expelled from school today after only three months I spent there.

In sixteen and a half years of my life I have changed seven schools. My mum was already sick of my bad behavior. But, I wasn't my fault, at least in my opinion. I had always tried to keep everything inside me, to ignore everyone I didn't like, but that had only made things worse. I was like a bomb which just waits something that will enable an explosion.

In that moments I would completely lost control over me. Besides, I was a tough character, not willing to admit any kind of authority. It couldn't last long for me to start an argument with teachers or other students. Against teachers I used words. I could hold myself back that much. Against students I used fists.

Schools had no tolerance of violence, even though I didn't consider my actions to be violence. I just defended myself when everything became too hard to hold back. But, every such case ended with expulsion and advices to take me to psychiatrist. I didn't know anyone who wasn't thinking I was a lunatic. I was convinced that it was also my mum's opinion of me. Sometimes it hurt, but most of the time I didn't care.

This day soon got much worse than expulsion from school with a bunch of idiots in it. I have already got used to that. But, this wasn't close like days after my last six expulsions.

While I was walking through town, proud of myself to kick some rich arrogant kid's ass when he tried to throw a bottle full of ink onto my head and satisfied to have extra free time, some girl suddenly jumped out of side street on my right. I didn't expect such a surprise so, even though I have tried to avoid her, she ran into me and knocked us both on the ground.

On top of that, it was raining last night, so I ended up spiting water out of my mouth when I had got into a big pool. The girl fell on me, so I also had to carry out all her weight. Even though she was tiny, she wasn't really light.

-What the hell?!-I shouted and pushed her so I could get up on my feet again. Fortunately, it was easy to do it.

When I got up, I shook myself, trying to dry myself a bit. My clothes and hair were almost completely wet. Luckily, the water didn't make wet the left pocket of my jeans, where my cell phone was. If it broke because of that girl, I would definitely punch her. Even so I was giving everything to calm myself and no to do that.

-Don't you look where you're going?-I grabbed my black hair which was tied in a pony tail and squeezed it, trying to get rid of the water. My hands needed something to do. Otherwise, they would have already been on her nose because she didn't look like she was going to apologize.

She also got up on her feet.

-You can see me?-under great amount of red hair, a pair of green eyes was watching me like I was some sort of weird animal. A familiar face expression, definitely, and absolutely not welcomed.

-Do you take me for an idiot?-I got closer, trying to frighten her.

-Of course I can see you. I'm not blind.-

She didn't move back as I hoped. She was standing still, facing me. All signs of her previous confusion were gone. I saw an arrogant look on her face, like she was convinced that I can't do anything to her.

I was in a mood for a fight. At least no one could stop me here. We were alone in the street and I had no reason why I couldn't make her to show some respect.

-Maybe you could apologize.-I suggested, aware that she won't do it. It made me curious, why such a tiny girl doesn't show fear. A fight would give me an opportunity to find out.

She smiled arrogantly and her eyes shined.

-I won't. You should also watch where you were going.-

-If you won't,-I warned her with tone of my voice.

-I'll make you do it.-

-I have no time to play with you.-she swung her hair like some sort of a model. It was very irritating. I have always hated that kind of girls in school. I had broken nose to one of them because she had destroyed my bike, saying that if I don't have a car, I must go on foot. It had been extremely good feeling.

-Bad luck, then.-I said.

-Because you are not going anywhere until you apologize.-

-You don't want to do that.-red-haired was still trying to look impressive, but I could only laugh with myself to a thought that I should be afraid of someone two heads smaller than me.

-You have no idea what I can do.-

When she said that, I couldn't hold it anymore. I laughed out loud, entertained for the first time during our talk.

-Bring it on then, Shorty.-

The nickname I gave her was the trigger. She jumped onto me. She was fast, but my reflexes were more than good enough for her. I grabbed her left fist and ran my fingernails in her pale skin. Then I turned her hand behind her back and stopped her hands. But, new attack came from her legs. She swung back with her right leg and hit my shin. It was a strong knock from someone so small. To avoid another one, I had to let her go. She turned around and we were again face to face. I concluded that I had underestimated her, but I noticed in her look that she was thinking the same.

We stood like that for a few moments, trying to find the other one's weakness. But, I was too impatient to wait for her. I throw myself at her, trying to knock her on the ground. It wasn't so difficult because of her frail build. In a second, we were rolling one over another. For some time, she was able to resist, but I was much stronger. She was laying on her back in the same pool of water she knocked me in. I was sitting on her waist,pushing her legs together with mine and holding her hands tight against the ground.

She had no way to escape. I smiled at her face.

-Will you apologize now, Shorty?-

She was fighting with herself, I could see that. Her pride was against surrender, but there was nothing else she could do, because she had no way out. She wanted to buy some time, so she avoided looking into my eyes, like that could make me forget about her.

Except for fighting, I was really good in reading people. I needed just one look and I could guess what they were thinking, even if they didn't want me to see it. There were some small details that people couldn't hide from their faces or control it, such as spreading nostrils or squeezing lips. If you knew where to watch, it was easy to notice.

Exactly in the moment when she opened her mouth, I felt someone grabbing my shoulders. I couldn't see who it was because that person was standing behind my back. A pair of hands squeezed me and pushed me away from the red-haired girl. I was again laying in the pool. I hit the ground with my chin and when I touched it, I felt blood.

That pissed me off completely.

_Who dared to do that?_ I got up in a second, looking for that idiot who was stupid enough to mess with me. I have already considered the read-haired Shorty stupid, but I didn't think that there will be more of such fools. I was furious and I felt that I was losing control, but I didn't care.

I turned towards them, ready for revenge. I didn't even look who was the other one. I noticed only that he or she had blond hair. Second after that I was already kicking that person's face.

But, he was ready my attack. I have caught a blink of his face and realized that he was a boy. When my right hand went to his face, he grabbed her with reflexes I didn't consider to be possible. Despite failure of my previous attack, I swung with my other hand, this time aiming his chest. But, he somehow predicted that too, even though I couldn't explain how. No one could have reacted so fast without knowing my plan in advance. He was too fast for a human, but I didn't see anything unusual in his appearance.

In a second he was holding my fists in his hands. I tried to set them free, but he was too strong. I tried to kick him with a foot, even though I didn't like to use someone else's strategy, but he avoided that too.

When it was clear that further resisting would be useless, I stopped rousing myself and looked the guy closely, hoping to discover something helpful on his face. My plan was also not to look scared or worried and prove him that he had won this battle, but not yet the war.

But, when I saw his face, for a few moments I could only stare. Pale face was surrounded by locks of light blond hair. His face was built like an angel's, every feature perfectly pointed out. His lips were light red like unripe cherry. But, dominant feature were his eyes. They were gold like wheat fields and shining like a sun. His glance completely captivated mine.

I was trying not to show my opinion of his look. I had to admit that he was handsome.I had crush couple of times, but this guy was definitely good-looking enough to fall in love with. But, I didn't let my feelings take control. He could use my fascination against me. I had to pretend like I wasn't impressed at all.

-Who the hell are you?-I tried to make my voice sound threatening.

His voice was sharp while he was almost whispering the answer.

-Don't mention hell here. It might come.-

_O, great. _I thought._ I 'm talking with some crazy religious super-model._

-You didn't answer my question.-I still didn't give up my "tough" behavior.

-I won't if I don't want to.-on the contrary of Shorty's, his arrogance was at least substantiated by the fact that he was still holding me in a trap. Nevertheless, it was really annoying and it couldn't be forgiven, even though it was coming from an angel-boy.

-Don't play your so "smart" games with me.-I growled at him.

-You were lucky now, Blondie.-I was hoping to make him angry as I was. It would make me satisfied for equaling the result in feelings and give me a chance to free myself.

But, even if he was insulted, he didn't show it. He turned his face towards Shorty who got up again.

-Are you OK, Clary?-

She nodded her head. I laughed and that drove their attention back to me.

-I knew you have some girly name. I suppose it's a nickname and your real name is some arrogant Clara or Clarissa. Or maybe French Clarisse?-I kept my attention on her. The guy looked like he was used to be in the center of attention, especially of girls, so I assumed that his ego will be causing him troubles if I don't act like other girls.

-For you it's Clary.-she answered. I could hear anger in her voice. She didn't like being

teased. And those kinds were my favorite victims.

-No. For me it's Shorty.-I smiled sweetly.

-Don't talk to her like that.-the guy interfered.

I didn't give him a single look.

-Blondie, stay out of this.-I still stared at girl. It didn't matter I have now known her real name, for me she will always be Shorty.

-Shorty should learn how to defend herself without waiting prince charming to attack her enemy from the back.-

-I ... I ... -she had no answer for that.

_2-0 for me._ I smiled._ If there hadn't been this blond rescuer of yours, I would have beaten __you up._

-Leave her alone.-the guy was now growling. I was making him angry. That meant he will be less careful.

-Blondie, you are talking again.-I made my voice sound exhausted, like he was a small kid interfering in adult's business.

-Stop call me Blondie.-he finally snapped.

-I 'm ... -

-Don't say, please.-I laughed again.

-You definitely also have some name of "higher" class. I would bet that you actually have two names, like David Christopher or something like that. Or maybe _Jr._ added.-

The guy tried to keep his face calm, but his nostrils spreaded like he was angry or scared. Obviously, I came very close to guess.

-Actually, it's just Jace.-he said finally.

-I think it doesn't fit you properly. Blondie is better.-I gave him also a sweet ironic smile.

There was something about this two that made me to tease them as much as I could. I couldn't figure at first what that was. I noticed that they were wearing similar clothes. It was made of black leather, fitting them perfectly like it was made-to-measure. They looked like members of some secret group of ninjas, but I wasn't scare of them. It didn't give me any precise information, but I noticed how they were looking each other when they weren't looking at me. I also remembered how Blondie defended Shorty of my attacks with words. Then all became clear.

-You are a couple.-mocking tone was in my voice.

-How sweet.-

Shorty's face at once got almost as red as her hair, but Blondie stayed calm.

-Are you jealous?-he asked me with an ironic smile.

But, I was too smart to fall for that.

-I'm sorry, but blond guys are not my type. All of them I know are arrogant fools.-

He didn't like my answer, but he didn't do anything. His eyes turned to Shorty.

-She has seen you?-

She nodded her head.

-Yes. Even before I hit her. Like she was one of us.-

I didn't like to be shot down of conversation and I definitely wasn't one of them.

-Yeah, like I would ever wear that kind of clothes.-

Surprisingly, they both ignored me. Blondie didn't replied for a few seconds, like he was considering their options.

-We'll take her to the Institute. Maryse can decide what to do with her.-

Shorty didn't like that idea very much. She frowned, but eventually nodded. But, even she accepted that idea, I wasn't about to do that.

-I won't go anywhere with you. Especially if that Institute is some hospital for mental patients.-

Blondie gave me a short look and then turned again to Shorty.

-Put her asleep, Clary.-

I thought she was going to hit me, but instead she pulled something out of her pocket and then came close to me. It was some kind of pen, I guessed, because she started to draw something on my hand. I tried to dodge, but Blondie hold me tight. When she was done with drawing, I suddenly felt tired and just wanted to close my eyes. I didn't have time to do anything and in a second I was already sleeping like a log.

* * *

I woke up on a bed, in the middle of unknown room. There was nobody there but me.

I sat up straight, rubbing my eyes. I had slept really well and I wanted to go back to it, but I forced myself to focus. For a few seconds I wondered how I got and what I was doing there. I looked through my last memories and then all came back to me, firstly my newest expulsion and then encounter with two "men in black".

In a moment I was on my feet, running towards the door. I assumed it will be locked, so I brought every part of my strength in this run-up. I threw myself, hitting the door with my right shoulder.

On my great disappointment, the only thing I got was pain in the shoulder. The door didn't move a bit, like they were made of lead. I had known it will be hard to get out of here, wherever that was, but I had hoped that I will make some progress, like getting out of the room. This made me realize that the best thing now would be saving my strength. Someone will eventually come and unlock the door. Then will be my chance to run away, especially if Shorty would be the one to come. I had already proved that I can beat her.

I sat back on the bed, trying to find something to entertain myself. They took away my cell phone, so I couldn't listen to music. I didn't really have in mind to use it for calling for help. Firstly, I wanted to get myself out on my own, secondly, I was curious. I wanted to know what those two had been talking about back in the street and why they brought me in that room. It also sounded like some sort of adventure which could finally set my life free of its usual monotony.

After some time, I heard a key in the door. I didn't make a single move. I had to see first who is going to come in, so I could estimate my chances.

A woman came in. She didn't look old, but she seemed exhausted. It didn't show on her face which had serious and strict expression, but her shoulders were a bit lower than they should be by someone who wants to look frightening. I followed her every step, calculating my chances. Even though she seemed tired, I didn't doubt she was ready to fight with me. And she wasn't as tiny as Shorty.

She approached to me and her blue eyes stared at mine like she wanted to read my thoughts.

-Who are you?-she spoke loudly and clearly, trying to make me obedient from the first attempt.

_You'll have to do much better than that._ I smiled quietly.

-Who are you?-I asked in return. I had to be the first one who will get an answer. I was really persistent in that game.

But, she gave up that game immediately and killed all the fun of it.

-My name is Maryse.-I noticed a cunning shine in her eyes.

_So, you think you can fool me that easily. You give no resistance, so you think I won't __either. Nice try._ I shook my head.

-Doesn't ring a bell. Are you a movie star or something?-

She tried to look calmly and patiently, but once again nostrils were traitors. My avoidance of answer was making her angry. I was really proud of myself.

-Tell me your name.-she demanded and her tone became sharp.

-Why should I?-my voice lost its mocking tone. I had no intention to let her think that she can scare me.

Her eyes shone dangerously.

-Because I can force you if you won't do it on your own free will. And it won't be pleasant.-

I wasn't scared of pain, but didn't like to feel it either. But, I was also determined to show her that she hadn't won yet.

-Will you let me go if I tell you?-

She smiled.

-Maybe.-

I wanted to swear, but I held myself back. She looked like a woman who would slap me for one bad word. If I wanted to get out of here, I had to play by her rules for now.

-I 'm Keira.-I said, admitting the truth.

She nodded her head.

-It's nice to meet you.-

I was aware she didn't really mean that. She started a new round of urging and was ready for it.

-Why didn't you send Shorty and Blondie to interrogate me?-I tried to make my question sound spontaneous and succeeded. She looked me, completely confused.

-Who?-

-Shorty and Blondie.-I repeated slowly and more loudly, like I she knew who I was talking about, just didn't hear it first time.

For a moment she still had confused expression on her face, but then she figured it out.

-You mean Clary and Jace?-

I nodded.

-Actually, you should have sent only Shorty. She was much funnier than Blondie. Always ready to fall on a trick.-

-I would be very grateful to you if you would call them their real names.-she said, serious again. I guess she wasn't happy that I succeed keeping conversation's subject away from myself.

But, I was really having fun.

-But, they suit them perfectly. Even you have to admit that.-

-Please, enough.-she didn't ask. She ordered. Joking was over. She lost all of her patience with me.

Without jokes to drive my attention, I remembered our half-deal. It was the time to mention it.

-I've told you my name. Let me go.-

As I predicted, she shook her head.

-I can't do that. Now you are here. That means you are one of us.-

I crossed my arms.

-And who are you?-I asked again, this time not meaning her name.

-We are Shadowhunters.-she said without any further explanation.

-And what do you do except for kidnapping people and threating to them?-irony in my voice was extremely pointed out.

She smiled again, like her smile could convince me to believe her.

-We fight.-

Even though I didn't want to admit it, I was already interested.

-Against what?-

-A lot of things.-she felt my interest and started to use advantage of it.

-Since you could see us before you knew anything about us, I could guess that you have Shadowhunter's blood in yourself. Who are your parents?-

I didn't remember that I shouldn't tell her that. I just followed my emotions, ignoring sense.

-My mum is Elizabeth Sanders.-I could hardly keep my voice calm. I couldn't believe Maryse would know her, but I hoped that she was, at least once, more interesting woman that she was now.

I was disappointed when Maryse shook her head.

-I don't know her. And your father?-

Anger grew in me. Why did she have to ask about him?

-Never met him.-I spat out.

-I don't know him. I don't want to. He shouldn't leave.-

In one second I have given her more about myself than in last ten minutes of our conversation. I cursed my emotions for taking control over me, but not out loud. I stared at Maryse, waiting for her answer.

Suddenly, the door behind her back opened and I saw tall, black-haired girl coming in.

Her clothes were identical to Shorty's, made-to-measure of black leather. But, this girl had a lot of self-confidence. She walked like she was in a fashion-show. Something like a whip was tangled on her waist. Her look scanned me for a couple of seconds, but then focused on Maryse.

-Mum, where are Jace and Clary?-she asked with a note of urgency in her voice.

Maryse shrugged her shoulders.

-I think they are in the gym. I also need them now. Go and bring them here, please.-

The girl nodded her head. Her eyes met mine for a moment and then she went out.

Maryse and I stayed in the room, both silent. I didn't want to talk about my father and she obviously didn't want to push me.

In a few minutes, the door opened again, letting three persons inside. Those were Shorty, Blondie and unknown girl to whom I haven't come up with a nickname yet.

Blondie spoke first after black-haired girl had closed the door.

-What is it, Maryse?-

-Jace, come here.-she said.

He came closer, allowing me to look in his handsome face again. I couldn't help myself, he was really cute.

But, I still haven't lost all my sense. I was careful not to show anything of my true emotions, so I smiled to him ironically, like a politician who drinks beer with his biggest adversary.

When he stood next to Maryse, she started to talk again.

-This is Keira. She will train with you and Clary from now on.-

I looked towards Shorty. She wasn't happy at all. Her forehead was frowned, but she didn't dare to take a stand against Maryse.

_I would take a stand against her, but this is too much fun to watch._ I laughed in my mind and then looked at Jace.

He looked neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. He accepted Maryse's decision without any complain. I wondered how so he was so calm about it, knowing the fact that I teased him as well as Shorty.

-OK.-it was the only thing he said.

-It will be good especially for Clary.-Maryse continued.

-She will have somebody to compete against. That will make her better and enable her faster progress.-

Jace nodded without a word.

I was convinced that he was preparing some unpleasant surprise for me on trainings. Then I maybe won't have time to tease him. So I had to do it now.

-Did you hear, Blondie? No more kissing when you need to work.-I threatened him with my forefinger.

On my surprise, he smiled. It was really smile of an angel.

-Don't you worry. You'll be trained properly.-

-Great to hear.-I answered while smile also showed on my lips.

I got up and turned to Maryse again.

-So, when do we start?-

* * *

In only a year I came very close to become a Shadowhunter.

It had been hard at first.

I have never been morning type, so I had had few fights with Jace about getting up too early in the first days. I had been refusing to get out of bed in 7 a. m., when trainings usually began. I would have put pillow over my head and tried to ignore him, but that strategy had never succeeded. He would have used really cruel weapon, icy cold water. He would have removed the pillow and spilled the water all over my face and made me run after him to get my revenge. Then he would have knocked me on the floor and told me that I had two minutes to drag myself to the gym. He would have said it with such cunning smile that I would have realized that he had managed to get me out of the bed without too much trouble. Since I would have already been awake, there wouldn't have been any point in going back to bed. I could have only got icy shower again. After few days of rebellion, I had given up resisting and started to get up when he had told me to.

Maryse told me that some of the Shadowhunters had visited my mother and erased her memories of me. That thought had bothered me and hurt me at first. But, I had never become too nostalgic. I had had new, more interesting life. Sometimes I had wondered myself why I didn't cry for her and did that fact make me a bad child, but most of the days in the Institute I hadn't had time to think of her.

Trainings had been hard, but I had got used to them quickly. I had lost weight, but I couldn't have become skinny like Claritin just wasn't built that way. But, I had been proud of myself and my good work. Even though I had started training few months after Clary, I had caught up with her very soon. She hadn't liked that and she had always been trying to beat me, but she just couldn't have.

The only thing she was better at was drawing runes. For that Shadowhunters were using steles, the thing I thought it was pen when I had seen it for the first time in Clary's hands. They had given me one too, but it was pretty useless to me. I couldn't have remembered not one except those most useful and most often, like protection rune. On a contrary, she could even invent new runes. She would have beaten me in that every time. But, I didn't care too much for that as long as I was better in chest-to-chest fights. And I was light years away from her in that area. My biggest advance had been that I had done everything for fun. It had been much more entertaining to practice knife fights than to sit at school, so I had given my everything in training. Also, fights between me and her had always been my chances to tease her. I just couldn't have resisted and she couldn't have controlled herself which had enabled me to win every time. And I hadn't wanted to give up my most useful weapon.

After ten months she had been no challenge to me. So I had been allowed to train with Isabelle, Maryse's black-haired daughter. She also had a brother named Alec. He was cute in simple way as Jace was in complicated way. He had Maryse's blue eyes and shared as night black hair with his sister. He was also a good Shadowhunter, second best after Jace. I had soon realized that Jace was absolutely the best fighter here. No one could beat him. In the moment I had realized that, I had understood what my goal as a Shadowhunter was; become better Shadowhunter than Jace.

It was one of those perfect starry nights when my first mission should take place.

I was wearing my new Shadowhunter's clothes. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but I was convinced that I would perform even better wearing track suit, just to be more mobile. But, I didn't complain because I was too excited about the mission. I was also a bit nervous too, but I touched gently my stele and my Seraph Blades and then felt calm and ready for battle.

I met the other four in the corridor in front of the elevator. Isabelle was the first who smiled at me.

-You look good in black.-I felt goodwill teasing in her voice.

-Especially when it's Shadowhunter's black.-

-Thank you.-I bowed like a movie star.

-Are you ready?-Alec asked me. He was always so polite. Sometimes it was annoying.

-I was born ready.-I smiled, hoping that my excitement isn't too noticeable. I was trying to act nonchalantly and it worked out. Well, for everyone except for Jace.

-Someone is very excited tonight.-he commented, looking directly at me.

It really wasn't often that I showed any emotion but sneers and indifference. He, who had been looking at me more often than anybody else so he could evaluate my progress, knew better than anybody how I reacted to anything. He was the only one who could notice change in my behavior.

I didn't like the fact that somebody knew me that well.

_He could also notice when I was vulnerable._ that was the chance that I wasn't willing to give anybody, not even to Jace. I have been a loner for all my life and I didn't want to change it. I haven't trusted people and I have always relied on myself. That ensured me that I couldn't be hurt, couldn't be let down. I had only myself to blame when something is screwed up and that fit me perfectly.

-Now we'll see what kind of coach you are.-I replied, trying to push him away by teasing him again.

-If I don't perform well, it will be your fault, Mr. Lightwood.-I just adored calling him that name, especially when I was allowed to use mocking tone, like now.

It was forbidden to call anyone by any other name than their first. Maryse was strictly against nicknames. One of the funniest things about her was calling Alec with his full name Alexander. Her tone was so serious and exalted that I had to hide my face from her and leave the room where she was; otherwise my chest would explode of hidden laugh.

Jace smiled at me and that smile gave me goose bumps.

_It's nothing._ I tried to convince myself._ He loves Shorty. He doesn't care about me. And I __most certainly don't care about him._

-Than I promise you that I'll protect you in the case of trouble, Ms. Saunders.-he said as he was entering in the elevator.

-Just to make my mistakes right.-

-You already must look after Shorty.-I still haven't got used to call her Clary. I succeeded to get from Blondie to Jace, but she remained Shorty. I just couldn't help myself. Maybe it was because she was Jace's girlfriend, although I didn't have any intentions to steal him from her. It was all subconscious then. Nevertheless, she didn't like it at all.

-I can take care of myself.-her tone tried to prove her words to us.

But, it didn't really work out. Nobody laughed, but I could see on everyone's faces that nobody believed her. They trained her to become a Shadowhunter, but she didn't make progress as fast as they hoped to or she looked too gentle to kill somebody, even it was a daemon. I could notice determination in eyes of the other three, resolution to protect her. Even though they have known her longer than me, they trusted me more that I can protect myself.

_No problems._ I didn't say it out loud._ I can kill daemons. I 'm strong enough to do it. I won't be a distraction. I'll fight. Like a Shadowhunter._

We all entered in the elevator in silence. It led to cathedral under the Institute. They explained to me that the cathedral was a cover for the rooms of the Institute. I haven't got out of it since they brought me here, so I haven't had a chance to look the cathedral from the outside.

_Fresh air finally._ I hold back a smile. I was finally getting out of training to a real fight and that made me even more impatient.

But, just in the second when I stepped forward into the cathedral, something held me back. It was like I was trying to move an invisible wall. I couldn't make a step forward and I watched everybody else, who entered normally, at a loss.

I tried once again, thinking it might have seemed to me, but I got the same result.

-Guys.-I called them.

-I can't get out of here.-

They all turned around. I could see on their faces that they were wondering and trying to figure out what was going on. It obviously has never happened before. But, in Shorty's face features I noticed some differences in reference to faces of others. It seemed like she was smiling without a smile. I suspected that she was at least a bit triumphing over problems on my first mission.

_Well, just do it._ I wanted to tell her, but I didn't because an argument would slow us down even more._ We'll see who will kill more daemons tonight._

-What's going on?-I asked the other three.

-I have no idea.-Isabelle said puzzled.

Alec shrugged his shoulders.

-I have never seen something like this. All Shadowhunters can go in out without being stopped. You entered without a problem, I don't know why you can't get out.-

They told me the same thing that were in my thoughts and, as such, already familiar. I turned to Jace again.

-What's happening?-I tried to sound calmly.

-How'll I get out?-

Surprisingly, he wasn't the one to answer. It was Shorty.

-Maybe you're some kind of daemon, so you can't enter into cathedral.-she smiled ironically.

-You are definitely mean enough for it.-

-Ha-ha-ha.-it was my only answer. I didn't have time to care for her. The only important thing now was to get outside. I was looking at Jace with hope.

-What religion do you belong to?-he asked, starring at me.

I shrugged my shoulders.

-I don't know. I mean, I believe there is a God, but I have never gone to church.-I didn't know if my words were some kind of heresy, considering that all Shadowhunters had a blood of angel Raziel in their veins. I haven't really asked anybody here about their believes. It wasn't so important to me.

His face kept its serious expression.

-That can't be the reason then. Many of Shadowhunters are like that and they have no problems.-

_Are you like that?_ the question was on the tip of my tongue, but I kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't ask him anything personal. It could be wrongly interpreted, especially by Shorty, who already doubted my intentions about Jace. And I wasn't interested in more problems than I already had.

-What could it be then?-I stared at him almost with a prayer in my eyes. I sensed that they won't allow me to go on this mission. He was the only one who could pull me out of this, the only one who wasn't starring at me with doubts in his golden eyes.

-I don't know.-he said at last.

-I have to speak with Maryse. But, not now.-

_I knew it._ I felt disappointment running through me. It was so strong that I felt tears in corners of my eyes. But, I wasn't going to cry. I have never allowed people to say my weakness. Neither will I now.

-OK.-I said with bit of anger in my voice. I still stand on the exit of the elevator, starring at them. Jace was the only who looked me back.

-Go upstairs.-he said.

-I'll come for you when we come back.-

Calmness in his voice was complete opposite of restlessness in me. I sensed how he tried to calm me down, but everything in me was trying to resist him. I wasn't supposed to listen, to be obedient. I should ignore him and fight to get out with pure force. I felt my pulse becoming stronger, my muscles tensed and I was ready to go wild.

_No, no. _I told to myself._ Don't lose control. Not now. They already doubt you because you can't enter into cathedral__.__ Don't give them any more proves that you are not like them__._

But, the other part of me stood up.

_Why should I care about what they think? Who are they to me? They keep me here as an animal, they take me away my freedom. I shouldn't listen to them. I have never listened to anybody._

-Keira?-I heard Jace's voice.

-Are you all right?-

I looked directly in his pale face. It was like ice which was opposite to the fire in me. He was really worried about me. He wasn't scared of me; he didn't consider me to be some kind of a weird animal.

I captivated the glance of his golden eyes, trying to find my peace in them.

_He will help me._ I told myself._ I can trust him._

-Yes.-I nodded my head and then turned around, going back deeper in the elevator.

I pushed the button, looking into the floor. I couldn't stand looks of others right now. I had to calm myself in the loneliness of my room.

-See you when you come back.-I passed a quick farewell to them and then the door of the elevator shut.

* * *

There was knocking on the door of my room. It fell in the middle of my dream about new I-phone. For a few seconds I was in a doubt to continue sleeping or to wake up, but knocking didn't stop, so I actually had no choice. I opened my eyes, trying to figure out who could it be.

-Yes?-I stretched, waiting for somebody to come in.

It was Jace. He was still in his Shadowhunter's clothes. I couldn't see his face well, but I noticed in his voice that something was wrong.

-Come into the library.-he said and then left.

In a second I was on my feet. I had fallen asleep in my Shadowhunter's clothes, so I didn't have to change. I hurried to the library. It was right across my room, but I still ran to be there sooner.

There were six persons. Maryse sat in an armchair, looking more tired than ever. Isabelle stood next to her, her hand on mother's shoulder. Across the room stood Jace, Alec and a guy that I knew to be Clary's best friend Simon. He was a vampire, but he could walk on the sun, so his kind called him _Daylighter_. He looked like a geek a bit, but I knew better than to judge people by their appearance. I haven't actually talked to him much, so I didn't know him very well. The day I had met him, I had promise myself not to be under influence of prejudices because he was Shorty's best friend. It was possible that I'll like him better than her.

Last person in the room wasn't familiar to me. It was a younger, black-haired man. His eyes were unusual, like cat's. He wore some weird purple shirt which was fluorescent. The rest of his clothes were normal, jeans and white snickers. I glanced down him and then turned to everyone else.

-What's going on?-my glance flew from one person to another.

-Clary is gone.-Maryse sighed. She could barely stay awake.

I looked to everyone else, thinking she might be joking. But, rest of them was also serious.

-How?-I asked, although I wasn't as worried as they were.

-Daemon has eaten her?-

It wasn't supposed to be a joke. She wasn't ready for a serious mission. I knew she had already gone to missions with Jace and others, but it was always by day and it was always an attack on a smaller group of daemons. Tonight the target was a big group. She had had to manage on her own. Obviously, she hadn't.

Isabelle shook her head.

-No. She was kidnapped.-

_Like that was a problem. As small as she is, you can put her in a suitcase._ I thought, but said other thing.

-By whom?-

I stood still in surprise when everyone sighed in the same time. The unknown guy was the one who answered me.

-By Jonathan Morgenstern.-

I forced my brain to remember. I knew that surname. For a few seconds I couldn't find a connection, but then it became clear.

-That's Clary's surname.-this time I even didn't use her nickname.

-Is that guy her cousin? Why would he kidnap her?-

I kept my look on the unknown guy. He was obviously the only one in this room who wasn't too shocked or too tired to talk.

-He is not her cousin.-he said.

-He is her brother.-

His words made no sense to me.

-Her brother?-I raised my eyebrows.

-I have never heard that she has a brother. I have never seen him here.-

-And you never will.-Jace growled suddenly, like he has just woken up.

-He is not like us. He has daemon's blood in his veins.-

-And she doesn't?-This time I really didn't intend to be mean. I have just tried to set pieces of the puzzle.

-No.-he answered, angry only on a thought.

-Their father gave him daemon's blood to make him stronger. He also gave angel's blood to their mother without knowing she was pregnant. So it get into Clary's blood too.-

-And he gave a bit of angel's blood to Jace, too.-the guy added.

Jace didn't like that he reveal that fact to me. He looked the guy with flame of anger in his golden eyes, but the guy didn't seem to be scared.

-She must know.-he said simply.

-If she is going with you to save Clary, she must know.-

-Thanks.-I replied, surprised that someone showed trust towards me.

Guy turned to me again.

-Nothing.-he smiled and his shining white teeth threw light on me.

-I 'm Magnus, by the way.-

-Keira.-I stretched my hand out, waiting for him to shake my hand.

He grabbed it elegantly.

-_Enchante_.-his lips gently touched my skin. I wasn't really impressed, but I stayed calm so I could find out more from him about current event.

-OK, why did that Jonathan kidnap her?-I asked when the show was over.

-We don't know.-Maryse finally showed a sign of life.

-We thought he was dead. Unfortunately, he isn't.-

-It seems that he summoned daemons we hunted.-Alec said.

-He set us up to kidnap Clary.-

-You have seen him doing that?-I asked. It wasn't clear to me how everybody has seen the abduction, but no one has stopped it.

Simon nodded.

-I have seen it. He knocked her down and took her away.-

-Why nobody stopped him?-I crossed my arms.

My voice was too sharp. They have all been wondering the same question. They wanted to save her, but failed. I shouldn't accuse them, I had to help them.

-I 'm sorry.-I apologized.

-How are we going to rescue her? Where is Jonathan's hiding-place?-

They all looked each other.

-There is one place I could remember.-Alec said.

-Wayland's Manor.-Jace added impatiently.

He was already coming towards me, because I was still standing on the entrance into the library, but Maryse's voice stopped him.

-We don't know if he is there. You can't go without more information. Wait until I ask someone in Idris if there has been unusual activities around Wayland's Manor.-

Jace turned around.

-It'll take too long.-his golden eyes were shining like diamonds.

-Clary's in danger. I can't wait.-

In a second he was passing by me. His face was paler than usually, he looked almost like a vampire. He wasn't thinking about his life or worries of the others for him. All he could see in front of his face was Clary. And that blindness could bring him in danger.

I couldn't let him to go alone on this mission. I grabbed his forearm.

-You can't go alone.-my eyes fixed his.

-You can't come with me.-he replied coldly.

-Don't you remember?-

His words reminded me on my problem with the cathedral. But, it didn't distract me enough to let him go.

-You promised me to solve that.-I said.

-Do it and I'll come.-

-I don't need you. I can do it alone.-he turned me down again.

But, I didn't give up easily.

-No, you can't. We all here care about Clary.-again I used her name just to prove the importance of this situation.

-And we all here care about you. We won't let you go on a suicide mission.-

-That's true, Jace.-Isabelle joined me.

-There's no way that you are going alone. We lost Clary together, so we'll save her together.-

-And this time you 'll have my help, so there is no chance that something will go wrong.-I smiled and noticed how his lips rose up a bit. He didn't smile, but he was on the edge to do it.

-But, how will you get out?-he asked, obviously accepting that we are going with him.

I stopped for a minute, thinking.

_What was different when I came? It doesn't matter why all this happened, it's only __important that I get out. How did I get in? What was I doing ... Right, of course._

-You'll put me to sleep, get me through the cathedral and wake me up outside.-I said, trying to bypass him so I could get ready. I had to take my Seraph Blades and the stele. I couldn't go into a rescue mission without them.

I heard Jace's steps following me into my room. I looked for my stele and the Blades. When I found them, I put them into my pockets and then laid on the bed. Jace came closer to me, already having a stele in his hand.

-Sweet dreams, Keira.-he smiled at me.

I smiled too, but didn't answer out loud.

_Don't worry, they will be. I'll be fighting by your side. What more can I ask?_ I closed my eyes.

I felt his stele touching skin of my right forearm. His touches were gentle and careful, like my skin could tear itself apart. In less than a minute, I was already sleeping, with a picture of a blond angel behind my eyelids.

* * *

-Keira, wake up.-

-Five more minutes.-I replied, trying to find pillow and blanket. I remembered that it was warm when I had gone to bed, but now it was cold, so I stretched my arm, looking for something warm. I finally found something and pulled it towards me. It really took me by surprise when "blanket" fell on me. I felt like it was ball that suddenly hit my stomach. It wasn't pleasant so it made me open my eyes.

-What's going on?-I asked, trying to see clearly. Above me was cloudy day, without a single part of blue sky. I looked around, trying to find source of the punch. I have found it really fast. It was Jace, who was trying to get up from me.

-You have just pulled me on the ground. I have almost broken something.-he said, getting on his feet again.

Although I shouldn't have thought that, I wished he had stayed just a bit longer. I liked the feeling of his body against mine. I could feel his muscles being tighten when he moved like never before. I had a few chances to sense that during our common trainings, but I had never had time to think of those touches. A moment of hesitation or distraction and the fight would have been over. And I had tried really hard to beat him, so I had to be completely focused. This was the first time he had touched me without intention to punch me. It had been an accident, I knew that, but it still gave me goose bumps.

_Keira, what's wrong with you?_ I asked myself._ He belongs to Clary. Move away from him. You don't need him. Ignore that signs. You are not in love with him._

I heard laugh of others.

-I have never seen someone got Jace by surprise like that.-said Simon with joy.

-I think you are the first one who knocked him on the ground in one-on-one fight.-

I looked up and saw Jace sticking out his hand to me. His face expression was still just worried, with no sign of inconvenience.

_No._ my sense ordered._ Get up on your own. You don't need his help._

My sense was the smart part of me and it had got me out from all sorts of troubles. Without my provoking jokes and cunning excuses that had forced people to stay back, I would have already been in house arrest long time ago. I knew it would be the smartest thing to listen it. My hardly controlled emotions have already done a lot of damage in my life. I didn't want to give them more opportunities.

I got up on my own, looking around. It has been a year since I got out on the fresh air. I have almost forgotten how the city looked like. It felt like coming home like ten years. I couldn't have helped myself, I smiled.

-So,-I heard Magnus's voice and turned around.

-Now that we are all awaken, you should get going.-

A strong white light suddenly appeared on the wall of the cathedral. It seemed like the wind was blowing from it. I didn't like the feeling. It looked like it could chew me and then spat me out like a chewing gum.

-Your portal, ladies and gentlemen.-Magnus waved his hand.

_He's a wizard. Nice. _I thought, pretty impressed. I have never seen a wizard in my life. I have seen vampires, werewolves, even a fairy once that had come to the Institute, but never a wizard. Nevertheless, it was cool.

-Thanks, Magnus.-Jace said seriously.

-It will lead us to the Wayland's Manor?-

Magnus seemed offended.

-Of course it will. What do you think, that I am some kind of third-league wizard?-

-He didn't mean that.-Alec interfered with gentleness in his voice I didn't expect from him.

-He's just worried about Clary, that's all.-

-We all are.-added Isabelle.

-We should be going.-

She went first through the portal, followed by her brother. Simon was third. When he got in, I turned towards Jace. He stood still, lost in his thoughts.

-Do you want to go first?-I asked, hoping to bring him back to present.

Even though he answered, his eyes were still looking at the ground.

-You go first. I'll be right behind you.-

He seemed distracted, like he couldn't get rid of something that was making him nervous.

-Jace, are you OK?-I asked nervously. It wasn't like him to behave this way.

He finally looked me. His golden eyes were darker than usually, like decaying leaves.

-I will be. Go.-

I concluded that there was nothing I could do if he didn't want to confide to me, so I listened. I got into the portal and in a second my home town was gone.

* * *

-Who'll have the first guard?-Alec asked.

We were sitting around small campfire. Our aim, Wayland's Manor, was right across the hill. We were hidden in a small forest, so no one could notice we were there.

The plan was to find out in the morning if there was anyone in the house. If there wasn't, we should immediately go to legendary Idris, the City of Glass, so we could find a portal and go back. Idris was the main residence of the Clave, council of the Shadowhunters. Since great battle against Clary's father, Valentine Morgenstern, it was also a meeting place of representatives of Downworldes: werewolves, fairies, wizards and vampires. They had told me about the battle in the Institute, but somehow everybody had forgotten to mention that Clary has a brother. If we affirm that Jonathan was in the Manor, we agreed to gather again here, to think of a plan of Clary's saving, reform it and then go to Idris.

But, there was still a whole night to wait. Since they had been on the mission all the previous night, I considered it was my duty to volunteer.

-I'll do it.-I said.

-Get some rest, people.-

No one objected. In a few minutes there were all sleeping, covered only with their jackets. I was sitting next to fire, wrapped in mine, trying to prevent my fingers from freezing.

I noticed that Simon gave his jacket to Isabelle. They were in some kind of half-relationship. It could be noticed from miles away that they liked each other, but it still hasn't become official. Back in the Institute, I noticed that a werewolf-girl named Maya has been coming very often to see Simon. It wasn't mine to interfere, so I didn't comment anything.

I looked at Alec next. It was still very strange to me how he had talked to Magnus when we had stood in front of the portal. Gentleness in his voice definitely wasn't friendly.

_Is it possible that he is gay?_ I wondered ._I have never seen him with a girl. And now this __with Magnus. Maybe he is._ I decided to divert my thoughts away from that. Even if he was, I shouldn't judge him. Being gay wasn't a flaw, at least in my opinion. It was love as well. It was better than to be like me, always alone and closed in.

I heard noise to my right and separated my glance from Alec. When I turned, I saw Jace sitting and starring in the fire like he was reading future from it.

-Why don't you sleep?-I waited for him to look me back.

-I can't.-he said, still looking in the fire.

I got up and came closer to him. It wasn't a selfish act, just to get him close. I wanted him to trust me, to say what has been bothering him.

-Jace, what's happening?-I sat next to him.

-I know you are worried about Clary, but you don't need to be. We'll save her.-

He finally looked me. Surprisingly, there was smile on his face. A small one, but a smile.

-Do you know how many times today you have said "Clary" instead of "Shorty"?-

-I didn't really count.-I replied, happy that I snapped him out of somber wistfulness he got into.

-I must be careful not to make a habit out of it.-

His smile has widened a bit, but then soon gone away.

-I can't help myself.-he sighed.

-I keep thinking about her and Jonathan. He is crazy and evil. He won't stop himself from doing harm to her.-

-For every hair that falls from her head, I'll punch him in the face. Will that be enough?-I had to find a way to stop him thinking about those bad things. He needed to get some rest. We will need his fighting skills tomorrow.

Once again, he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

-I think it will.-

I clapped my hands as quietly as I could for not to wake up anybody else.

-With those happy thoughts in your mind, you should go to sleep now.-

He still resisted. The smile was gone again.

-You don't understand, Keira, what she means to me.-

I felt a bit offended. It was true that I have never had boyfriend, but I wasn't stupid. Love has always meant lot to people. I could understand as much.

-Of course I do, I 'm not stupid.-I said.

-You love her. You would switch places with her if you could. You would give your own life to save hers. You'll never forgive yourself if we fail. I know how that story goes even though I have never been in love.-

He looked me in a surprise.

-You have never been in love?-

-Not seriously.-I answered.

-Not like you and Clary.-

I saw a smile rising again on his face and then remembered what we had spoken about.

-I mean, you and Shorty.-

The smile was lost again, but at least sorrow didn't return. Now he was serious and even seemed sympathetic.

-Don't you feel lonely?-

-Sometimes.-I shrugged my shoulders.

-But, I have been a loner all my life, so it doesn't bother me that much.-

He nodded his head.

-I was like that before. Until I met Clary.-

-Trust me, I was even worse than this now.-I laughed quietly.

-I couldn't say two sentences to someone without getting into an argument or a fight. At least you have taught me how to control myself a bit more than before.-

-No problem.-he said.

-I 'm glad that you feel accepted among us.-

I didn't agree with him. I couldn't stop myself for admitting that.

-Actually, I think you are the only one here who really accepts me. Others just tolerate me.-I glanced towards sleepers.

-They think I 'm not like the rest of you. Especially after this cathedral-thing. When Clary said that thing about the daemons, everybody thought for a second that it might be true.-

-I didn't.-he said and I could see on his face that he was telling the true. No spreading nostrils or any other betraying signs.

-I know you didn't.-I nodded.

-That's why you are the only one here that I trust completely. Actually, you're the only one ever that I trust completely.-

-I 'm honored then.-I could see fatigue in his eyes, but he still reminded awake. If I had no other choice, I had to force him.

-Enough talking, Jace.-I said.

-Get some sleep now. You look almost like a vampire.-

-I've told you, I can't.-

Despite everything that I have just said to him, he made me angry. He should listen to me. It was for his own good.

-Jace, go to sleep.-I said strictly.

-Now.-

That made him even more stubborn.

-I won't. Not while Clary is captured.-

I stood up. I feared that I might punch him, so I had to get away from him.

-Jace, stop it.-I said, finally understanding what was going on with him.

-You are doing this because you blame yourself for not saving her. It's nobody's fault. It was a trap. Stop punishing yourself. What if tomorrow we have a chance to save her, but you fail because you are too tired? Then you'll have good reason to blame yourself.-

I was a bit rush on him and I felt it too late. My tongue was faster than my mind. He looked away from me.

-Jace, I 'm sorry.-I touched his arm gently, wanting to make my apology sound honestly.

-We'll save her. We won't fail.-

He still didn't turn around.

-Jace, please, get some sleep.-I was getting nervous.

-I'll sing you a lullaby if you want me to.-

That made him turn around.

-I don't believe that you'll do that.-

-Why not?-I was confused for a moment.

-You are too proud to sing a lullaby to me.-he answered while his golden eyes were looking straight at mine, like he was trying to catch me in a lie. So I decided that offer won't be a lie.

-I will. But you have to lay down and close your eyes.-

He did it in a second. That left me no time to remember some lullaby. I could only sing some of the ballads I knew from my favorite bands and singers.

-I 'm waiting.-he said because I stood silently.

-OK, I have remembered one song.-I said, concluding that I have no better solution in the moment.

-Just ignore the love-sounding parts and it will be good enough.-

-Can't wait to hear it.-he replied.

I took a deep breath and then looked at the sky. I couldn't watch him as I sang. I feared that my face will reveal how much of the song will really be true.

_I remember tears_

_streaming down your face_

_when I said_

_I'll never let you go,_

_when all those shadows_

_almost killed you light._

_I remember you said:_

_"Don't leave me here alone."_

_but all that's dead_

_and gone_

_and past_

_tonight..._

_Just close your eyes,_

_the sun is going down._

_You'll be all right,_

_no one can hurt you now._

_Come, morning light,_

_you and I'll be_

_safe and sound..._

When I sang the refrain, I finally found the strength to look at Jace. But, he didn't look at me. His eyes were closed, his breathing was calm. He was sleeping like a child. He probably didn't hear me, but when the acoustic part of the song past I continued to sing.

_Don't you dare look out_

_through window,_

_darlin', everything's on fire._

_The war outside our door_

_keeps raging on._

_Curled up to this_

_lullaby,_

_even when music's gone..._

_Gone..._

I gently touched Jace's cheek. While I was singing further, I caressed his face. He didn't resist, but he reacted. His head moved a bit closer to my hand, so I didn't stop.

_Just close your eyes,_

_the sun is going down._

_You'll be all right,_

_no one can hurt you now._

_Come, morning light,_

_you and'll be_

_safe and sound..._

I whispered in the time in real song was the part I didn't understand. My whispers were words I thought I was hearing every time I listened that song.

_Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh,_

_our love,_

_our love,_

_our love,_

_I know..._

_Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh__,_

_our love,_

_our love..._

I was happy that nobody was awake but me. I have never let my feelings to be so free. It was a stream of emotions that young man, who was sleeping in front of me, created. I didn't know if he was aware of that fact, but I knew I have never felt this way in my life.

_And yet he belongs to another girl._ I thought with less irony than ever. In my mind now was more sorrow. I didn't want to sing further, knowing there is no purpose.

_You have promised him, Keira. Finish it._ I warned myself.

So, I did.

_Just close your eyes._

_..._

_You'll be all right._

_..._

_Come, morning light,_

_you and I'll be_

_safe and sound..._

In real song until the end was acoustic part, so I mumbled it as good as I could. I didn't stop until I finished the last melody.

When I was over, I looked at Jace in the silence. He was more angel-like than ever. His face was peaceful, like he had nothing on his mind anymore.

I couldn't separate my hand from it. By caressing him, I accidentally touched one of blond locks and it fell on his face. He moved in his sleep and I feared that he might wake up. I curled the lock gently around my fingers and removed it from his face. Then I held my breath, hoping it will be enough.

Fortunately, he didn't wake up. I sighed and moved my hand away from him, but I still couldn't go back to my position.

I couldn't stop watching him. A desire to kiss him was streaming through every part of me. I looked at his lips which were calling me.

-I could do it. No one would know.-I heard my own voice whispering. That desire was so strong that it made me talk with myself out loud.

_But I would know. And I know it's not right. He loves Clary and she loves him. It wouldn't be fair of me._ I closed my eyes, trying to run away from my wish. But, it was nothing better. He was still in front of my eyes because I knew exactly where he was laying. It wasn't enough.

_Do it, Keira. _I said to myself._ Do it right now._

After few seconds, somehow I managed to get up my feet and move away from him. I returned to my old sitting-place and looked at the dark wood around us. I had no other choice, because only darkness didn't remind me of Jace.

_It's OK, it's OK. He won't remember a thing in the morning. When we save Clary, __everything will be as usual._ I was convincing myself. I have hoped more than ever in my life that my thoughts will be true, because I wasn't hoping to be able to resist Jace's lips for the second time.

* * *

-Good morning, Sleeping beauty.-

Someone was trying to wake me up. I opened my eyes, yawned and stretched. I was feeling numb, which wasn't surprising, considering that I have sat all night on the rocks. When I felt my blood floating again through all my veins, I looked around.

Everybody have already been awaken. They were all looking towards the hill that was hiding Wayland's Manor from our sight. Well, almost everybody looked towards the hill.

Jace was staring at me like he has never seen me before.

-Finally.-he said with a wide smile.

-I thought I'll have to let the others spill water on top of your head.-

-What? Why?-I asked, getting up at once. One mention of water in the early morning and nobody is faster awake than me.

Alec turned his look from the hill and dedicated his attention to us.

-Because we have to make a plan of attack. Don't you remember?-

I nodded my head.

-Of course I do. I 'm listening.-

When they heard my voice, Isabelle and Simon joined us. We were standing in the circle, thinking out a plan.

-OK, I think it' the best that Jace and I go firs to the Manor.-Alec said.

-You three can come in safe distance behind us. In case trouble, don't get into fight right away. We must be sure that at least one of us will get to Idris to tell the story.-

-C'mon, Alec, do you really think that all of us are such a poor fighters?-Jace said, still smiling.

I couldn't believe seeing him in such good mood. Last night he seemed desperate. Now, he was even ready to joke.

Alec, Simon and Isabelle also seemed surprised.

-Of course I don't.-Alec answered.

-But, we have to be ready. If Jonathan is using Clary as bait, we might be walking right into a trap.-

-We don't even know if he's there.-I tried to reduce tension.

-We'll go and check. If he is there and we get out unnoticed, we'll come back here. If someone sees us, we'll have to fight. I don't know Jonathan very well, but according to all that you have told me, he's ruthless. If we miss our chance, maybe we won't have another to save Clary.-

I caught Jace's glance. Even though his lips weren't smiling, his eyes were.

_Shorty. It's Shorty, not Clary._ I repeated in my thoughts.

But, others were looking like my words had shocked them. But, it was the truth, somebody had to say it. Jonathan could disappear if we let him. We had to catch him. It was the only way to set Clary free.

At last, Alec nodded.

-OK. But, someone will still have to get to Idris if we would lose the fight.-he looked at me.

-I can't go, I don't know where Idris is.-I said with a bit of triumph in my voice.

-It's to the east of the Manor ... -Alec wanted to answer me, but Jace interrupted him.

-In that case, you should go to Idris, Alec. You are eighteen, Clave will listen to your story.-

Alec looked him in surprise.

-But, Jace, I 'm going forward with you. I won't have a chance to go back if fight begins.-

Jace shook his head and the blond locks flew around.

-You don't need to. Keira will come with me.-

Now we all looked at him, even I.I wasn't hoping to get in the first line, because I didn't have as much experience as the Lightwoods or vampire capabilities as Simon. I wasn't afraid, I wanted to fight, but I supposed others will try to keep me away from it if it is too dangerous for a beginner. So Jace's words were surprising even to me.

Isabelle stopped the silence first.

-Jace, this is her first mission.-she turned towards me for a second.

-I mean, you are good, Keira. But, I don't think we should put her in the middle of the biggest danger.-

I wasn't offended by her words. In fact, I was more interested in Jace's answer.

-She won't be in danger.-he said calmly.

-I'll protect her with my own life.-

_OK, that was pretty dramatic, even for you, Jace. _I thought. But my thoughts were clearly expressed on everyone's faces.

I had to turn attention away from Jace. He was obviously weird this morning and I had to find out why. I was the last one to see him yesterday, while he was still the same as ever.

-Don't worry about me. Watch over yourself.-I said to him.

-Nevertheless, you are coming with me.-he insisted.

Everybody now starred at me. Jace's expression was determined, but faces of others were suspicious. They thought that it Jace's weird behavior was my fault, that I had somehow forced him to like me. Since I loved stories about historical queens and kings, my situation reminded me of Henry the VIII. and Anne Boleyn. I was Anne, Jace was Henry, and Clary was Catherine of Aragorn. Everybody thought I was some kind of evil witch that charmed Jace, so he forgot about Clary. Nevertheless, there were some great differences. Firstly, nobody had any proof Jace likes me, secondly, I did nothing that would make him like me that way. I had only sung him a lullaby, but he had slept during my singing, so it couldn't have anything to do with that. Maybe I just was better company than everyone else.

-OK.-I said, determined to show everyone else how wrong they were about me.

-But as I said, you'll look after yourself more than after me. I can defend myself.-

He smiled once again.

-I know you can. That's what I like about you.-

_OK, Jace, what was that?!_I wanted to yell at him. It was like he gave written state to Alec, Isabelle and Simon. They were angry at me, but they were trying not to show it. I could see promises on their faces that they will deal with me after we save Clary.

-Let's go then.-I said. I knew I should have left someone else to say that, but I was too impatient to move away from them. I couldn't look into their faces anymore, even though I knew I had done nothing wrong. I hadn't kissed Jace last night. I was in no way to be blamed for his unusual behavior. I was able to resist him.

_But, for how long?_ I wondered while I was crossing the hill, followed by the only person I have ever been in love with.

* * *

-Jace?-I couldn't stand it any longer.

-Yes?-he looked at me with concern in his golden eyes, like he had could see right through doubt in my voice.

-Is something wrong?-

-You are different this morning.-I was trying to find proper words which wouldn't give away my feelings for him.

-Last night you seemed so ... depressed. Now you seem much better.-

He kept my glance. We were still walking, but we didn't now look at space in front of us, but at each other.

-You are the reason for that, Keira.-he said seriously.

-When you were talking to me, I didn't feel so lonely anymore. I have finally had someone by my side who can understand me.-

I made few steps in silence, trying to figure out what to say next.

-What about Clary?-I asked, confused and flattered by his words at the same time.

-Doesn't she understand you?-

He looked away while he answered, like he couldn't think of her and look at me in the same time.

-In some matters, no.-his voice turned down.

-Someone was always there for her, her mum or Luke or Simon. She has never felt loneliness, how it feels when you have only yourself to talk to and you don't like things that are inside your head.-

-But, you have had Lightwoods, didn't you?-I was astonished by honesty of his words.

Jace has never talked about himself much, at least what I have heard from him. He has always been closed in towards everyone, even sometimes towards Clary. It was really surprising to listen his confession.

-Not always.-I have heard his voice shivering.

The time he was talking about was dark period of his past, I was sure of it. I wanted to know, but I held myself back. I didn't want to push him to answer my questions if that meant that more of bad memories will come to the surface.

-By the time I was twelve, the only father I had known about was Valentine Morgenstern.-he continued.

Shock I felt from those words made me stop. I couldn't move for a few moments. He made few steps forward without me.

-Valentine Morgenstern?!But, he's ... -

He turned around slowly, like I was a precious that fell out of his pocket and now he was looking for it.

-Clary's and Jonathan's father, yes.-he finished my sentence.

-But, until the battle in Idris, I have thought he was my father. I thought I was Jonathan. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern.-

I was putting the pieces of the puzzle together. It made my heartbeat go three times faster.

-Jonathan Christopher.-I have finally understood.

-Jace.-

He nodded his head.

I remembered one small detail of our first encounter. I had teased him about having some name of higher class. I had said "David Christopher". I could never guess how close I had been that day. And I could never guess how sorry I will feel about it now.

-I'm sorry, Jace.-sadness was streaming through my apology.

-I didn't know on the day we had met. If I had known, I would have never said those words. I didn't know it will cause you so much pain.-

He came back and stood right in front of me. For a few seconds, his eyes starred at mine and then his glance fell onto my hand which he now held in his.

-Don't worry. It just proves how good you know me, Keira. You had known me even before you actually met me.-

For the first time in my life, I blushed. It was weird to feel so connected with someone, to know someone in a way that is thought to be impossible.

-No, I am just good in reading people.-I managed to smile, but my joke didn't succeeded as I had hoped. It was because Jace didn't take it as a joke.

-Yes, you are.-he nodded.

-But, there is more in you than that. You know what it means to feel lonely, to have no one by your side.-

He guesses too much. He knew too much.

-Look, I ...-I tried to pluck my hand out, but he held it tight.

I shouldn't let him understand me. If I let him that, if I open my heart to him, he could break it.

_He will break it, as soon as we save Shorty._ I could see that sight in my thoughts._ He will see only her face, he will hear only her voice. It doesn't matter what he said now, he will abandon me. And I won't be able to bear it._

He interrupted me, not letting my hand out of his.

-I could see it from the moment I met you.-his voice became louder, like he was giving everything in to prove me his words.

-Because of the way you defended yourself from us. Your sarcasm, your pride, it was just a mask. Your words are like a fortress that defends you. You let nobody close. But, a fortress around heart is a lonely place. Believe me, I know.-

He described me perfectly. Even though I had sometimes been mean to people because they were mean to me, most of the time malevolence was my shield. It was a sign to others to leave me alone. I trusted no one, so there was no reason to be annoyed by other people. I did what I wanted alone. I got in and out of trouble alone. And I had nobody else but myself to comfort me. I have chosen a life of a loner. And now I was facing possibility to give it away. Just because of one special angel-boy.

-I have been like that all my life because I have had no other choice.-he continued and I could do nothing but listen.

-Valentine was a kind of man who showed no love to anyone. I had to learn how to be self-sufficient. It was the only way for me to survive.-

I could imagine little blond angel running through a big dark house, trying to hide from a monster that was impossible to fight against, his own father. I could imagine fear and insecurity that he had felt, I could hear a prayer for somebody to come and rescue him. But, it had taken too much time before somebody had heard it. He was already forced to form an armor that will protect him and never allow someone to hurt him so deeply again.

I had never had to hide from my mum, but I couldn't have a relationship full of trust with her. From the moment I started to think with my own head, we became two strangers under the same roof. She tried to understand what had been going on with me, but I have never let her. She was somebody else, not me. And I trusted nobody else but me.

-But, you needed to do so. I didn't.-I said. I had to make him understand that he shouldn't be saying all that to me. It formed a bond between us. My emotions wanted it, but my sense didn't. And I knew whom I should listen to.

-I have chosen so, Jace. I understand you and I know that you trust me, otherwise you wouldn't tell me all this, but I can't give you the same in return. I trust nobody.-

His glance sharpened like a new-built knife.

-You didn't say that yesterday. You said you trust me.-

-I trust that you'll guide my back in the fight.-I tried to make my words clearer.

-That's the most of my trust you can get. When you live that way all your life, it's hard to change it, no matter how much someone means to you.-

Those words flew out of me before I could stop them. I feared that I had said too much, that I had given myself away.

His expression was still serious, but in his eyes something was shining.

-I mean something to you?-he whispered, like someone could hear us. But, no one was there. Isabelle, Alec and Simon were still too far, not even in sight, and the Manor was few hundred meters away.

I looked away from him.

-I shouldn't have said it that way.-

I continued to walk. Now I was the one who couldn't look at him.

-Can't you see it, Keira?-I heard his voice behind my back.

-Clary and I ... we are so different. She is the light and I am the darkness. I used to think that opposites attract each other. You showed me how wrong I was. There are some parts of me Clary could never understand. I know that now.-

-Neither can I, Jace.-I fought with myself. I wanted to look at him and I tried not to do that in the same time.

Suddenly, he jumped out in front of me. I couldn't look anywhere else but in his eyes.

-Yes, you can and I can't understand why you are denying it.-flame was burning in their gold.

-Haven't you said it with your song?-

_So, he did hear it._ I blushed again._ That means he felt me caressing him. Crap__._

-It was just a song, Jace. I couldn't think of any better in the moment.-I couldn't let my emotions rule my actions. I had to think logically.

-What's wrong with you? Yesterday you almost cried for Clary. Now you are saying you are not in love with her.-

-Because I 'm not anymore. I 'm at least honest to myself.-his comment was pointing in my feelings.

-I have realized I 'm in love with somebody else. I 'm in love with you.-

He has finally said that. It was hidden behind every word he has said to me today. And I didn't exactly know how to react, so I said probably the stupidest thing I could.

-Really?-I sounded like a twelve-year-old girl who was just spoken to by a member of her favorite boy-band.

-Really.-he smiled. His hand gently touched mine again. I almost haven't noticed. All I could think about were his eyes and his lips. The first ones shone like fireworks. The second ones were coming closer to my face.

_Jace is going to kiss me. Me. _I could feel warmth streaming through every cell of my body. I couldn't believe my own eyes.

His were now closed. There was no more gold in front of me, no more autumn. There was only late spring now with a whiff of summer, just unripe cherry. If I would go just a bit closer, I could feel its taste on my lips.

He was so sure in what he was doing. There was nothing that could stop him. I was the only one on his mind, there was no Clary in his world now.

_Clary! _I suddenly woke up._ I can't to this. I don't like her and I like Jace really much, but I __can't do that to her._

I felt that kissing Jace now would be a mistake that I could never make right. It wasn't just because of Clary, it was something much deeper inside me. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a chasm and a kiss with Jace would push me over it. There would be no salvation for me then.

Even though I was half punishing myself, I stretched my arm and touched Jace's chest, gentle but determined. He felt my resistance and opened his eyes.

-What's wrong?-he asked. He sounded concerned, but I could also hear a note of impatience in his voice.

-I can't do it.-I took a deep breath.

-We are on a mission now. We have to take it seriously.-

_It's your girlfriend we are rescuing._ I added in my thoughts. I knew that mentioning Clary won't help me. I have known Jace long enough to realize that he doesn't care much for other people's opinions. Our kiss would hurt Clary, he knew it, but it would hurt the same now or later. If he had decided that he is in love with me, he didn't want to hide it. If he wanted it that way, it was his right to have it.

-We do.-he smiled, like I was a child who had just done something cute.

-A kiss won't change that.-

He wanted to come closer to me again, but I stepped back.

-After we save Clary.-I said, crossing my arms. He needed to know I was serious.

He raised his arms in a gesture of surrender. But, he didn't move back.

-You promise?-

_If you insist._ I smiled and nodded.

-I promise.-

He smiled again.

-Good.-

I watched as he continued to walk towards Wayland's Manor. After he made few steps, I followed him.

I was trying to understand what changed his feelings for me and Clary so much. I couldn't have noticed anything in his face expression, so I have now focused on his movements. But, they were as same as ever, skilled and elegant as a panther's which hunts down its prey. His hands were now relied on his Seraph Blades, like he expected an attack. He looked as usual, if "usual" was among words that could describe Jace. But, something was still inside my head that couldn't accept that changes, even though they were in my favor. They were too sudden, abnormally sudden.

_Like he is charmed._ I thought._ Just some hocus-pocus and he is suddenly in love with __me. I know I shouldn't complain, but it's not normal._

I looked at his back, wondering if everything about him worthed fake love. I really couldn't decide. So I turned my thoughts towards next problem.

_But, if he is charmed, who could have done that? I have no supernatural powers, no one is sure that I 'm a Shadowhunter at all. I have only sung him a song and people don't fall in love with someone just because of a song. OK, maybe they do, but they don't fall out of love with one person to fall in love with another just because of a song. It's impossible._

While I was thinking about Jace's behavior, we came to Wayland's Manor. On the first sight, it looked abandoned. There was no cars around it, some of the windows were broken. It definitely didn't look like somebody was living there. We went all away around it, but we found no proof that somebody was there. There was only one solution left; to go inside.

I felt goose bumps on my neck. It wasn't pleasant like those caused by Jace's touch. Something bad was in there and we were going right in the middle of it.

Jace was already on the door.

-Jace.-I called for him.

He turned around.

-Yes?-

For a moment I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to say that I 'm afraid. I wasn't. But, in the same time, something was telling me not to go in. But, I couldn't say that to him. So I said something completely unplanned.

-Will you promise me something?-

Concern on his face turned to smile.

-Whatever you want.-

I knew what kind of promise I wanted from him. But, I asked something else. I knew that in this state of mind he wouldn't promise that. So, I had to use my advantage.

-Do you promise then?-

He nodded.

-Of course I do. I know you would never ask something that I can't fulfill.-

That was the opportunity I have been waiting.

-In the case you have a chance ... -I took deep breath before I continued.

-To choose between saving me and saving Clary, you'll choose Clary. You'll save her.-

As I supposed, he shook his head.

-No. Anything but that, Keira. I can't promise you that.-

-You just did.-I had to be hard on him, otherwise he would never do it.

-Jace, you must do so. I'll protect myself. We don't know what Jonathan had done to Clary maybe won't be able to do the same.-

He starred for a few seconds in my eyes, trying to convince me that I was making a mistake by asking him that. But, I didn't look away. I knew what I was asking. It needed to be done.

-OK.-he said finally.

-I'll do what you ask.-

-Good.-I said, hoping he'll never have to make that choice. But, I had his word now. I could go in the battle with clear mind that he'll save Shorty and somehow "wake up" from strange dream in which he was in love with me. I was cursing my conscience for making me doing so, but only until I entered into the house.

In the moment its shadows covered us, it was like the house alarm turned on. But, there was no shrill sound like the usual alarms. In a second we were surrounded by all kinds of daemons. I have never actually seen one, so I was disgusted and shocked by their look in the first moments. But, then I realized that I had many other things to worry about, for example, how to survive. I pulled out my Seraph Blades and focused on the things I had learnt in trainings. Next to me, Jace did the same and already started to make his way through daemons army.

I squeezed my Blades and moved towards first daemon. At the moment I had slayed him, every feeling inside me was lost. I became a weapon, designed only to fight and to kill. Cutting edges of my Blades were coming in and out of bodies, precise like they were navigated by a satellite. I stabbed heart of every creature around me. Blades were parts of my arms, like I was born with them.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I have heard voices. It sounded like Jace and Alec.

-I thought you supposed to go to Idris if something goes wrong.-I heard irony in Jace's voice.

-I couldn't leave four of you to fight alone against all this daemons.-Alec answered.

-Where is Keira?-

Jace turned around and for a second he caught my glance.

-She's having fun.-he answered than to Alec and made me smile.

It was true. I felt like I was born to do this. My moves were smooth and perfectly timed. None of the daemons had a chance against me.

At least not alone. But, we were fighting for some time and there was no less of them. New ones have just kept coming. My hands needed much more strength to resist gravity.

-How many of them are there?-I heard Isabelle's voice. The same question was in my head as well.

I tried to get through the army of daemons towards her voice, but I couldn't kick as precise as before. Some of the daemons managed to survive my attacks, so I couldn't go forward. I felt touch on my back and glanced across my shoulder. Jace was behind me, trying to get rid of the daemons. But, I could feel he was tired too. We had no chance against all of them. It seemed like there was billion of them.

_How'll we get out of here?_ I thought in a moment of panic, but then I heard someone's voice. That voice I have never heard before.

-That would be enough.-

Suddenly, all daemons around us vanished like they have never existed. All that was left was broken furniture and a lot of footsteps in dust. I could finally see Isabelle, Alec and Simon. They were all, as well as Jace, looking towards top of the stairs in front of us. Two persons were standing there.

I have recognized Clary immediately. Her red hair combined with paleness of her skin was making her easily noticed. There were bags under her green eyes like she hadn't slept much. He seemed even thinner than before, but it could be because she was standing away from us. She looked shocked and tired, but not seriously injured. When I concluded there was nothing to worry about her, I looked at the other person on the stairs.

-Remember, I can call them back immediately if I think you'll do something inappropriate.-he said, meaning the daemons.

The first thing I noticed was his eyes. They were black as night and possessed cruelty of murderer. He didn't seem to know mercy. His smile was like poison, enjoying the thought of killing every one of us slowly and painfully. I shook unconsciously while his glance crossed over me. He went from me to Jace and then suddenly came back. His smile widened a bit. His skin was as pale as Clary's, like he hasn't been in the sun for some time. He was taller than her, standing by her side like a true older brother. His hair was blond, but darker than Jace's. If I couldn't see from his eyes, I could never say he had daemon's blood in his veins. But, the cruelty in them was showing clearly that guy wasn't normal human being. Or normal Shadowhunter.

Next to me, Jace made step forward.

-Jonathan.-he growled like a tiger.

Jonathan smiled.

-Hello, little brother. I 'm glad that you came to visit me.-

Jace squeezed his Blades more firmly.

-I 'm not your brother.-

Cruel smile didn't vanish from Jonathan's face.

-Of course you are. After all, we were raised by the same father.-

Jace was hardly holding himself back. If he could, he would kill Jonathan just with his glance.

-Valentine is not my father. My last name isn't Morgenstern.-

-But, in your heart, you are one, just as I am.-Jonathan looked at Jace one more moment, and then glanced at the rest of us.

He didn't wait for Jace's answer.

-I see you brought some company with you, little brother. I think I remember most of them.-his tone was theatrical and mocking.

-Two of the Lightwoods. I believe the third one is dead.-

-How dare you?!-Isabelle shouted at him, more furious than I have ever heard her.

-You killed Max! How dare you to speak of him?!-

-Isabelle!-Simon grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down.

But, she resisted.

-Leave me alone, Simon! I'll kill him with my own hands!-echo of her words ran through house like we were in a cave.

But, Jonathan wasn't impressed by her threats. He continued like he didn't even hear them.

-And _Daylighter_ came as well.-his words made Simon's name among vampires and his powers seem so unimportant, like he saw vampires like him every day.

I was already wondering what insult he prepared for me, but when he spoke, I was surprised.

-And the last and newest one - Keira.-he emphasized my name.

Before I could say anything, Jace interfered.

-How do you know her name?-he asked angrily, like my name was some top-secret.

Jonathan found than entertaining.

-I have my own sources, little brother, and I don't have to share them with you.-he was enjoying addressing Jace as "little brother". That was giving him feeling of power and strength. He knew how it annoyed Jace and therefore it was even bigger pleasure.

-Now, let's get down to business.-he continued after few moments of silence.

-We all know why you are here; to save my dear little sister.-

Jonathan raised his hand and caressed Clary's hair without even looking at her. She shook, but didn't move away, like she was tied with invisible ropes. Her face became even paler, if that was possible and she closed her eyes, like Jonathan could disappear and leave her alone if she ignored him.

He removed his arm from her and starred back at us.

-We also know that I have an army that even you can't beat. If I hadn't stopped them, you would have been dead now. So, without my permission you can't get out of here, at least not alive. But, I 'm willing to offer you a deal. An exchange.-

We stood in silence. We knew that making deals with Jonathan wasn't a good idea. He has planned this and the price he will ask won't be cheap.

_But, he is right._ I thought._ We are alive only because he stopped his daemons. And we __can't get out without accepting his offer._

-What kind of exchange?-I asked. There was no point in standing there and waiting. Miracles don't happen. No one will come and help us.

Jonathan smiled cunningly.

-One of you for Clary. If you do that, I'll let the rest of you to walk away as free as birds. I think that's fair.-he said.

-OK, then.-Jace spoke before I could answer.

-I'll stay. Let them go.-

Jonathan shook his head, like Jace's words were a funny joke.

-There is a special person here that I want in return and that aren't you, little brother.-

-OK, take me then.-Simon was the next one who offered to sacrifice himself.

But Jonathan shook his head again.

-Not even you, Daylighter.-

-Take me!-Isabelle shouted again.

-I'll be happy to get a chance to kill you!-

Smile didn't leave Jonathan's face.

-Thank you, Isabelle, but it's not you either.-

_Why does he need Alec? _I wondered._ Maybe because he wants somebody inside the __Clave. And Alec is the only one here who is old enough._

Alec was obviously thinking the same, because he yelled:

-Let them go, Jonathan! But know this: I will never betray Shadowhunters!-

-That's nice.-Jonathan nodded.

-You won't need to. It's not you that I want.-

In a second our glances met and I realized what he had said.

-Why do you need me?-I was confused.

-I would rather that we discuss that in private.-he said and then looked the others.

-Are you going to accept my offer?-

-We won't!-that was Jace's voice

-She won't stay with you! I won't allow it!-

Jonathan voice was now only cruel as his glance returned on Jace.

-Your love's life is at stake and you won't save her because of some other girl?-

He turned towards Clary.

-Have you heard that, Clary? He loves somebody else. As an older brother, I should kill him for breaking your heart.-

Clary believed his words, I could see that. Tears started to show in corners of her eyes. She started to shake like she was having a fever.

I could stop it. I could save Clary and move away from Jace in the same time. I might once have chance to kill Jonathan. I had to take the risk.

-OK, Jonathan, I'll stay.-I said loudly and clearly, to let everyone knows my decision can't be changed.

-Let them go.-

As I expected, Jace turned around immediately. He was raging.

-No way, Keira. I won't let you.-

I looked at him.

-Remember your promise, Jace.-I said decisively, but also gently. I knew he won't agree with my decision, but he had the chance to save Clary he had promised me to use it.

His golden eyes darkened.

-Please, Keira, no.-

-I must do so, Jace.-it was causing pain inside of me to see him so sad and broken. He had to be strong.

-Protect the others. I'll be OK, I promise.-

-You have broken your last promise.-he was whispering now, not wanting the others to hear us.

-I haven't. I still intend to keep it.-I smiled and grabbed gently his shoulder.

-We'll see each other again soon. Trust me, Jonathan won't handle my "pleasant" character very long.-I emphasized ironically the word "pleasant".

That made Jace smile for a moment. But, only for a moment.

-We'll come back. I'll make sure all the Shadowhunters fight to save you.-

I shook my head quickly, afraid Jonathan will hear us.

-Don't do that. I don't want anyone to die because of me. I'll be fine. I'll find a way to escape on my own.-

He wanted to say "You are not good enough.", I saw it on his face. He opened his mouth, but then realized I would get angry on him, so he didn't say it. He looked at me for few more seconds and then turned towards Jonathan.

-If I find out that you harmed her ... -he left the sentence unfinished.

Jonathan wasn't worry at all. He smiled to Jace again.

-Don't worry, little brother. I just want to talk to her. I 'm not as cruel as you think.-

-No, you are even worse.-Jace growled.

Jonathan shrugged his shoulders, pretending naive.

-Maybe.-his glance fell on me.

-Keira, please, join me.-

-Let Clary go first.-I didn't want to give him any chance to trick us.

His black eyes shined.

-I already like you. You are very interesting chat partner.-

-You haven't seen anything yet.-I laughed ironically.

Jonathan grabbed Clary's hand roughly, like a master grabbing his slave.

-When you start to climb, she'll start to descend.-

I had no other choice but to accept that deal. When I crossed two steps, he pushed Clary downstairs. She managed to keep the balance and then started to descend. On half way of the stairs we passed next to each other. I tried to catch her glance, but she looked away from me. She still thought that I deceived Jace to fall in love with me. Except I had promised that I'll kiss him, I hadn't done anything that she could accuse me for. I didn't take Jace's new-found love for granted, I was suspicious about it and doubted on some kind of spell. I was hoping to discover what kind of spell enchanted Jace and how to break it. I was moving away from him right now so I wouldn't give in to his charms.

_What more can you ask, Shorty? _I wanted to yell at her._ I kept your boyfriend optimistic as much as I could. I refused to kiss him, even though I like him. Maybe I 'm even in love with him. I 'm switching places with you right now. I 'm going to hell and you are going by his side. And you can't even look at me? Go to hell._

When I stepped on the last stair, I turned towards people who were now standing under me. Clary was down there and everyone gathered around her, checking if she was all right. But, Jace's glance kept running away from the red head. It was glancing towards me with sadness, like he couldn't forgive himself for letting me go. I gave him a smile and nodded my head.

_It's all right._ my glance meant._ We'll meet again, I promise. I'll run away. Just have faith __in me. At least as much as I have it in you, my angel._

I almost laughed to myself.

_Have I just called him "my angel"? I went crazy completely._

But, then I felt a touch on my back and remembered who was standing next to me. I turned towards Jonathan.

-I have kept my part of the deal. Let them go.-

He smiled again. Up close his smile was creepy, like I was looking at wolf's teeth. But, I crossed my arms and showed no fear. It was the key of my strategy against Jonathan.

-As you wish, my lady.-

_My? Lady? What?_ I haven't answered because I was too busy trying to get to the point of those words. He spoke like he was seven hundred years old, like we were in Middle Ages. I found that stupid, but I knew better than underestimate Jonathan. He might have talked funny, but "funny" wasn't the word that would fit his description. It just didn't go with "evil","deadly" and "creepy".

Door that we came in suddenly opened, like some invisible hands were moving them. I supposed that were the hand of daemons that served Jonathan. Few rays of sun got into the house, but it still seemed dark and unfriendly.

Next to me, Jonathan spoke again.

-You can go, as promised.-

Four of them immediately got out, just wanting to move as far away from the house as they could. They didn't seem to regret too much for leaving me here. Only Jace left in the house few more moments, starring at us.

-Yes, little brother?-Jonathan asked like he was talking to a curious child.

Jace ignored him. His eyes were starring at mine.

-Don't forget your promise.-he didn't turn around right away. He was waiting for my answer.

-Don't worry, I won't.-I smiled, knowing that promise will be my light when everything else here would be full of darkness. And there will be that kind of moments, I didn't fool myself.

-Go now, Jace. Keep them safe.-

He nodded his head and then left without turning around once. After all that had happened, I couldn't think he didn't care. Perhaps was just too painful for him to look at me knowing that he leaves me here, in Jonathan's hands. Even though I was sad looking at blond head, there was also dollop of happiness in me. I meant someone enough to miss me. Maybe Jace's love for me wasn't real, but he cared about me, even before today. He would be worried about me, even if he didn't change so much, I knew that.

When he went out, the door closed behind him. The only persons in the room now were Jonathan and I.I turned to him first, wanting to prove him that I 'm not afraid, that he can't play with me like cat with a mouse. I was on his ground, but I didn't mean to give up idea of escaping.

-OK, now we're alone. What do you want from me?-

His lips made that creepy smile again.

-Step by step, Keira. It wouldn't be fun if I tell you the whole story right away. I have something better in mind.-

He descended down first few stairs and turned towards me again.

-You should see your guest room first.-he stretched out his hand.

I walked by it like I even hadn't noticed it.

-I take nothing under five stars.-I said with false arrogant tone.

Even though I thought he will be insulted by my disregard, he wasn't. Smile was still on his face. If it caused some anxiety in me, I couldn't imagine what his rage would do.

-As I have said, I already like you, Keira. I can't wait the two of us to start some more serious talking.-

* * *

My guest room could hardly be put on the level of rooms. It was more like a dungeon. We were descending for a few minutes, so it was probably under the ground. Its walls were damp, covered with mold. There were only an old bed, a small wardrobe and nightstand with a lamp on it. That lamp was the only source of light in the room. It smelled weirdly.

But, I didn't say a word of complain. If Jonathan thought that he will break me with bad accommodation, I would be really disappointed.

In three days since I had been guest in there, I didn't see him anymore. Once a day, some man would come and bring me some food and drink. It was only bread and water, but I was so hungry and thirsty at the moment, so it seemed to me like the best feast in the world. I wouldn't notice it perhaps if I wasn't so bored. Only thing I could do was starring at the walls, sleeping and thinking. I thought about the reason Jonathan wanted me here, about my mother who had no idea where I was or that I actually exist and, more than anything, about Jace. I wondered if he was all right, if he fell in love with Clary again, if he was thinking about me. I didn't forget my promise, but sometimes, in my darkest moments there in the "dungeon", I doubted I will ever be able to fulfill it.

On the third day, I got an unexpected company in the room.

While bringing me food, the man pushed in my room a boy of seven-eight years old.

-He's your new room-mate.-he said compendiously, without any explanation why.

I looked at the boy. He was skinny as a stick. His brown hair was full of dirt as were every part of his skin. He wore some thin grey shirt and pants which were few sizes too big for him, so he looked curled up in a bag. He had no shoes or socks. But, I looked beyond his poor clothes. His brown eyes were dilated in fear, his body was shaking. I could see few bruises on his arms and legs. He stared at me in fear, like he thinks I was just another person sent to hurt him.

-It's OK.-I said, trying to make my voice sound caring and gently, which it wasn't very often.

-Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.-

He was still shaking like he was having a fever. Maybe he did have it. His face was pale, but I could see drops of sweat on his forehead. I got up and went closer to him. He crouched, like he meant I won't see him if he becomes as small as he could. His eyes stared at me like I was a tiger that is just about to eat him.

I stretched my hand and caressed his arm gently. I kept his glance, making a small smile on my face.

-Everything is all right. You are safe now. Nobody's gonna hurt you.-

His body relaxed a bit. A part of fear vanished from his eyes.

-What's your name?-I asked.

I missed half of his answer. I understood only that it had "-el" on the end. I laughed only because I didn't want to frighten him, but I really wasn't in the mood for playing babysitter.

-I 'm sorry. Could you repeat it, please?-

This time his voice was loud enough.

-Nathaniel.-

-That's nice name.-I said my honest opinion.

-I 'm Keira.-

I lent my hand and waited. I hoped he will show enough trust to shake my hand. After few seconds of indetermination, he did. I didn't mind dirt on his hands. After three days in this hole and without a shower, I probably didn't look much better myself.

-Why did that man brought you here?-I had to find out why would Jonathan give me a chance to talk to somebody, even if it was just a young boy.

He shook his head.

-I don't-t-t kno-o-ow.-his voice was shaking.

I remembered then my theory of his sickness. I looked around, but I had nothing to cover him except thin blanket on the bed.

I looked at him again.

-Can you get up?-

He tried as soon as I asked, like he wanted to prove his strength, but there was none of it left. He began to fall again as soon as he stood, so I caught him.

-Come, Nath.-I gave him a nickname immediately.

-Go into bed.-

He was skinny, so carrying him to bed was pretty easy. I helped him to lay down and covered him with blanket. His head fell on the pillow, but his eyes didn't close. I could see a prayer in his eyes, but he was still too afraid to ask me anything.

But, in this place, there was small number of things you could ask. I went back to the door, grabbed bread and water the man brought me and sat back on the bed.

-Take a piece.-I broke off a piece of bread. It wasn't fresh, but it was a meal.

Nathaniel arose slowly, like he had wounds made by whip on his back. I have seen how daemons hit by Isabelle's whip moved, and Nathaniel was moving similarly. He wanted to reach for the bread, I could see in his eyes. He was hungrier than me, definitely. I didn't want to even imagine what they had done to him when he was afraid of people so much.

-It's OK.-I said again and put the piece in his hand.

-Eat that.-

In a second the bread was gone. He swallowed it almost without chewing. His brown eyes starred at the rest of it like it was made of pure gold. I broke off another piece and then gave the rest of the bread to him. Even though he had bigger amount of bread in his hands, he ate it twice faster than me.

I took small jug full of water and passed it to Nathaniel.

-Please, save me a bit of it.-

When he started to drink, I thought my request worth nothing to him. He was just too thirsty. He couldn't control himself. But, after few seconds his lips separated from edge of the jug and he handed it back to me.

-Thank you.-he said.

Gratitude was visible in all features of his face. He wasn't so afraid anymore. I was glad he trusted me. In some ways, child's trust meant more than any other. It showed me that some people really deserve it. If someone like me, a sarcastic, proud girl, deserved it, I should be capable of trusting other people who were in many views better persons than me. This boy was one of them. Although he was surely thirsty even now, he gave me the water, he didn't let his needs to overwelcome him. I wasn't sure if I could do the same if our parts were reversed.

His cheeks gain a bit color after he had eaten, but he was still shaking. His eyes were closing. He couldn't stay straight for long time.

I laid down his head on the pillow.

-Sleep now, Nath.-

He shook his head, even though it was already laying on the pillow.

-I ca-a-an't sleep. They'll co-o-ome.-

I was confused.

-Who are they?-

-Ma-a-an with black ey-e-es.-his voice was trembling.

-He sa-a-aid that his da-a-aemons will eat me-e-e.-

I caressed his hair again.

-Don't worry. I'll watch over you. Trust me, no daemons will hurt you while I 'm here.-

-Bu-u-ut, they'll e-e-eat you to-oo.-fear in his voice was far beyond what a child should feel, like the daemons were already chewing me.

-No, they won't.-I smiled confidently.

-I'll be right next to you. That's how you'll know they didn't eat me.-

Suddenly, without any possibility of me predicting it, Nathaniel got closer and laid his head down on my thigh. It was like a pillow to him. His arms surrounded my hips and it seemed like he will never let me go. It wasn't perverse, it was just a boy looking for protection and safeness. In me he looked an older sister or something closest to a mother that he has ever had.

Warmth streamed through me, meaning so much to somebody wasn't a familiar feeling to me. But, it felt good. This boy's attachment elicited a smile on my face. It wasn't my usual smile, sarcastic or mocking, I was honestly happy, maybe for the first time in my life.

-Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?-I asked him. It was at least what I could do for this small creature that made my life more tolerable, more beautiful.

Rubbing his head against my leg meant "yes". I have opened my mouth, but then remembered the last lullaby that I sang and its consequences. But, then I laughed to myself.

_That's not possible._ I said to myself._ My song can't be reason for Jace's love. It was __something else. I can prove it right now. I'll even sing the same song._

I took my breath and started to sing. It was the song "Safe and sound" by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars, from one of my favorite films "The Hunger Games". I loved that song because it made me feel less lonely. I imagined all the time while listening it on my cell phone that someone was singing it to me. My daydreaming has never come true. But, at least I could do the same for two other boys, help them feel less lonely in this world.

While singing, I caressed Nathaniel's hair and face. I was really like a mother protecting her child from bad dreams. He came closer to me as much as he could and I could feel his shaking soothing. To warm him up, I laid down, hugged him and curled him even better in the blanket.

Few minutes after I ended the song, we were both sleeping, protecting each other from all sorts of nightmares.

* * *

-Keira! Keira!-

_Not again._ my sleepy mind mumbled._ I want to stay in bed today. I don't want to go on __training._

But, somebody's hand kept pushing me.

-Keira, wake up!-they just didn't give up.

I opened my eyes and stretched. My fist hit something, so I looked around. I was in the dungeon and the thing I accidently hit was Nathaniel's arm. But, he didn't seem to notice it.

-Finally!-he jumped in delight.

I looked at him closely. Yesterday he was frozen in fear. I have barely convinced him to believe me. Now he was looking at me with endless, childish joy, like the most important thing in his life was that I was awake.

-Nath, what's going on?-I stood up and stretched one more time.

-You look so beautiful.-he said without any shame.

That sentence made me turn around at once.

-What did you say?-I was so shocked that I asked him to repeat, even though I had heard it first time.

-You are beautiful.-he smiled at me. His smile and eyes were innocent, but there was something wrong about tone of his voice. I couldn't figure out what that was. It was Nathaniel's voice, his words sounded like child's, but something was wrong. Boys of seven years old didn't say to the ten year older girls that they are beautiful.

-Thank you.-I didn't want to scare him again, so I behaved nicely.

-But, why you are saying that to me?-

-Because it's true.-he hugged me again. When we stood straight, he barely reached my hips.

-I love you, Keira.-

_Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?_I could imagine hundreds of question marks above my head. _This isn't normal._

But, then I remembered Jace's "symptoms". Nathaniel had them too after I sang to him.

_It can't be._ I was shocked._ It's impossible. It's just a song. I ... I..._

-Well done, Keira.-I heard familiar, but not welcomed voice.

-Your powers are really impressive.-

Jonathan was on the door. Behind him was the man who brought me bread and water.

He came in first and grabbed Nathaniel.

-Let me go!-Nathaniel yelled, rousing.

-Keira, help me!-

I starred at Jonathan, who was entertained by this show. Anger grew in me. He couldn't do that, especially not to a child.

I turned towards the man and punched him in the face. He let Nathaniel go, but now he was staring at me, with rage in his grey eyes. I stood in front of Nathaniel, protecting him with my body. My Shadowhunter instincts woke after three days of sleeping. I was ready to fight. I didn't matter if my adversary was human or daemon.

-Stop.-I heard Jonathan's cold voice.

He was speaking with the man and then he turned towards me.

-The boy is going with him, whatever you liked it or not. He can go calmly with no troubles or he will face the most unpleasant consequences you can imagine.-

-Like you haven't hurt him enough already.-I growled at him.

I heard crying behind my back. I turned towards Nathaniel.

-Don't let me go, Keira.-tears were falling on his cheeks.

-Please. I don't want to go with him.-

I couldn't see how I could prevent that from happening. Jonathan kept his army of daemons somewhere close, I was sure of it. My resistance could only kill both me and Nathaniel. There was nothing I could do now. Or very less.

-Promise me you won't hurt him.-I said, talking to Jonathan.

-He suffered enough.-

Jonathan nodded his head nonchalantly, like that meant nothing to him.

-He'll be all right. Jack will keep him safe.-

It was the best I could get from Jonathan. I couldn't hope for more from the man with blood of the daemon.

-Nath, it's all right. They won't hurt you.-

He glanced at Jonathan quickly. His eyes were back on mine in a second, like he couldn't look at Jonathan no more than that.

-He's lying, Keira. Please, don't let me go.-

I crouched, so my eyes could be on the same height as his, and touched his shoulder gently.

-It's OK.-I smiled.

-We'll see each other again. I'll talk to him. Maybe I can convince him to let us go.-

Nathaniel shook his head.

-He'll never do that.-

-You don't know how persuasive I can be.-I laughed and moved a lock of his hair from his face.

-I'll sing to him and he'll do what I tell him. By then, you must be good boy. I'll come and save you.-

His eyes shone.

-You promise?-

I nodded.

-I promise.-

He turned towards the other man, Jack. He was still afraid, but not as much as before. He followed Jack out of the room and than through corridors. Looking at his back, I was hoping that my promise was the truth. Otherwise, I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to forgive myself.

When they left, I turned towards Jonathan.

-What do you know about my powers?-

-Obviously, more than you do.-he made few steps into the room.

When he said nothing else, I had to continue the conversation. Besides, I was curious.

-It seems like I can make people fall in love with me by singing them a song.-I said slowly, looking for a reaction on his face.

He nodded.

-That, and much more.-

I raised my eyebrows. I didn't understand what he meant. He noticed that and laughed.

-There is so much you don't know, Keira. I 'm so glad that I'll be the one who will reveal the truth to you.-

_He is so arrogant, like the sun comes out and down because of him._ but I kept my mouth shut._ If tolerating Jonathan's thought of his own importance will allow me to find out some answers, I'll be patient as long as I have to._

-Then tell me.-I requested.

-If you insist. But, first there is a story that you have to hear, otherwise you won't understand.-he smiled.

-Once upon a time a baby was born in London. Her parents were Shadowhunters, but they belonged into a secret group called The Circle.-

-Your father founded it, I know.-I said. I knew the story of Valentine and his attentions to take control over the world. Every new Shadowhunter had to hear it, so its repeating would be prevented.

-He did a lot of experiments in his quest for power.-Jonathan nodded indifferently, like Valentine had nothing to do with him.

-He gave me daemon's blood. He gave my sister and her precious boyfriend angel's blood.-

I noticed this time he didn't address Jace as his brother.

_Maybe he just likes to annoy Jace. Or he really can't distinguish his feeling for either of them._ I held myself back from shaking._ He's weird. With big W._

Since I said nothing, he continued to talk.

-But, he had another type of blood that he wanted to test. So, he asked from one of his friends to give him their new-born child.-

-And they did so?-I was shocked.

My shock made Jonathan laugh.

-They had no choice. They were afraid of my father. If they hadn't done so, he would have sent an army of daemons on them. And they found their own lives more important than their daughter's.-

I spat on the floor. I couldn't hold myself back. Even though I couldn't reach those people, I wanted to punch them. They would deserve it.

Jonathan continued like nothing happened.

-He also gave that girl blood of an angel. But, this angel was different. It was a fallen angel.-

-Like, the angel who fought on Lucifer's side when he fell?-I didn't laugh to his story because I had heard stories about Raziel. I believed in existence of angels. And if there were angels, there must have been fallen angels.

Jonathan shook his head.

-Actually, no.-his voice was calm, like we were talking about homework.

-During years, some of the hell's creatures were born as sons and daughters of Lucifer himself. Expression "fallen angel" isn't correct in this case. Let's say it was an angel of darkness.-

-I thought daemons are Lucifer's progeny.-I said.

-They are something different.-he shook his head again.

-They existed independently of hell. People sometimes mix them up, but they aren't the same. Anyway, my father put blood of an angel of darkness in this girl's veins. So, she became in some way an angel of darkness. Let's say she was Lucifer's granddaughter.-

-Poor child.-I had compassion for her. I couldn't imagine her character when Jonathan nwith daemon's blood turned out as he did.

-My father didn't want to return her to her real parents. They knew what she was, so there was a risk that they might kill her to save themselves and other people.-Jonathan continued.

-So he made sure that she is adopted. She was adopted by woman from New York who had no idea what her new daughter was and, as such, appropriate for guarding her. My father kept an eye on the girl, watching her progress and behavior. He wanted to see how will Lucifer's blood have influence on her life and will he be able to use the girl for his own intentions.-

At the moment he mentioned the woman in New York, I realized what he was aiming at. But, I couldn't accept his words. It just wasn't possible.

-If you are saying that I 'm the girl, you are crazier than I thought.-I stared in his eyes, trying to see the lie in them. But, they were so dark that reading them was impossible.

He laughed contently, like he has just waited that sentence.

-I have a lot of proves.-he said.

-Every angel has its specialty. Do you know what Lucifer's was before he fell?-

I shook my head, even though I was guessing what he was about to say.

-He was angel of music, Keira.-Jonathan sang my name softly.

-When he sang, everybody listened. What he sang, everyone did.-

I shook my head again. I couldn't accept what that fact made me be.

-I don't believe you.-I growled.

-I 'm not adopted. I have a mother.-

He laughed like he expected it.

-Maybe we should ask your mother. She will know the truth.-

I crossed my hands. I had the advantage on this one.

-She doesn't remember me. Shadowhunters erased her memory.-

-Of course they did.-he nodded with a smile on his face.

-But, the memory-erasing rune doesn't last forever. It has to be renewed from time to time. And I didn't do that when I kidnapped her. She remembers everything.-

_He kidnapped her?!_I stood without words for a few moments.

-Show me my mother.-I growled at him.

-If you have done any harm to her, I'll kill you, no matter how many daemons I have to kill first.-

-You are so entertaining, Keira.-he smiled like a child who had just done something bad and wanted to hide it from its parents.

-There's no need for such threats. Of course you can see her. She is closer than you think.-

He waved his hand towards the door, inviting me to step out first. I did so, starring in front of myself and trying to locate her. I didn't notice Jonathan coming close until I felt his hand on my back. His touch was gentle, but I slipped away immediately. I didn't want him closer than he had to be.

-Where is she?-I tried to sound coldly, like I haven't even noticed his touch and had more important things on my mind. It was easy because that state was true.

-Second doors on the left.-he said without too much delaying.

I made few quick steps and pushed the door he told me. They were locked. I turned towards Jonathan again. He was playing with group of keys in his hand.

-Give me the keys.-I said, trying to stay calm. I was on the brick of punching him. He challenged my self-control for too long.

-I 'm afraid I won't.-once again he had cruel smile on his face.

-You have insulted me by your scorn. I can't forgive that so easily.-

-Oh, really?-I said ironically.

-And how did I do so?-

-You didn't let me to escort you to your mother's room. You ran away from me.-

I crossed my hands.

-So what? I want to see my mother fast. Maybe you are just too slow for me.-

In a second he was standing right next to me. His movement was almost too fast to be noticed. He had that lethal elegance in his moves, just like Jace.

-Believe me, I 'm not.-there was no smile now on his face. There was just a dark threat in his eyes.

-You are in my power now. Show some respect.-

_I've got it finally. Pride. That's his flaw._ I felt sweet contentment, but then it became bitter. _If only I didn't have the same. If he's telling the truth, we're already too much alike, at_ _least by blood. There can't be a big difference between daemon and angel of darkness._

-OK, I apologize.-I said quickly, wanting to see my mother as fast as I could.

-Happy now?-

He shook his head.

-Mean it.-

-What?-

-Mean it.-he repeated.

_I can't._ I thought._ I hate you too much already. I can't apologize you honestly. It would be __like betraying myself, being obedient._

-I 'm sorry.-I tried not to growl, but I failed.

He noticed that immediately. His face closed to mine like he was going to kiss me. But, there was only anger in his expression.

-You didn't mean it, Keira.-

Rage grew in me. His was playing with me, trying to scare me. I couldn't allow that. He had to know what kind of fire he was playing with, how dangerous it could become.

-I'll never mean it!-I yelled.

-Give me the keys or I swear I'll ... -

-You'll do what?-he interrupted me.

-Have you forgotten how powerful I am?-

-No man is powerful dead.-I threatened to him. I couldn't control myself. I would explode if I kept those words inside me.

We stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Fire was burning in his eyes, but so it was in mine. I didn't let him think he could scare me. I was a Shadowhunter, trained and prepared for danger.

Finally, his glance became less sharp, features of his face relaxed. He stood back and laughed.

-I've seen what I wanted. Now you can come in.-

He threw me the keys. I didn't have time to think about his words. In the moment I caught them, I pushed the first key into the keyhole. It didn't fit. I had tried few more keys before I found the right one. When it finally moved, I locked the doors and push.

My mum was sitting on the bed. She didn't seemed hurt in any way. She looked at me and then blinked few times, like she couldn't believe I was standing in front of her.

-Keira!-she said in surprise.

-What are you doing here?-

I felt relief when I saw that she was all right, but the reason I had to talk with her came back to me. I stayed cold and looked at her indifferently.

-Am I adopted?-I got straight to the point. I had no patience for being evasive.

Her glance became panicked.

-Wha-a-at do yo-ou mean?-her voice shivered.

That was the proof to me.

-I was pretty clear. Am I adopted?-I show no feelings.

-Who told you that?-she tried to avoid the answer again.

-Doesn't matter.-I said coldly.

-Answer the question.-

She gave up. She took a deep breath and nodded.

-Yes, you are.-

-How old was I?-my voice was still cold, like I haven't been talking about myself and my own life.

-Seven months.-she said.

-Who are my true parents?-I continued the interrogation.

She shook her head.

-I don't know. I was told that some man brought you to the orphanage and never came back. I felt sorry for you, so I adopted you.-her voice was full of sorrow, she was hurt by my insensitivity.

But, I didn't care. I let my anger to be heard.

-When did you plan to tell me?-

I saw tears in her eyes. Abduction was nothing comparing to this conversation.

-I don't know.-she tried to wipe tears from her cheeks, but there were too many of them.

-Probably when you turn eighteen. But, I had no idea how I will do that. You seemed more away from me every day. I could see that you had problems, but you never wanted to talk about them. And now this.-she covered her face with hands.

I was untouched by her tears. For all my life, this woman lay to me. She hid the truth from me.

_I'll try to save her from Jonathan, but no more than that._ I said to myself._ If we ever get out of here, I don't want to hear about her again. I belong to Shadowhunters now, like I always have. And if I am forced to choose between her and Nathaniel, I'll save him._

-If that's all, we have nothing more to talk about, Elizabeth.-I turned around, ready to walk out of the room.

-Keira, please, wait!-there was begging in her voice. I couldn't ignore it, not without consequences in my heart, I have felt it. I turned towards her once again.

-I know you are hurt.-I could see honest regret in her eyes. On this one I could trust her. I believed my instincts. They were right about not trusting her then, they were right about trusting her now.

-But, all I wanted for you is to be happy and safe. I've done my best to provide you with that. I 'm sorry if you have expected more, but everything I have done, I have done in your best interest. That was always on my mind.-

_Don't get soft, Keira. _I warned myself._ Not now. She was good to me, but I have to leave her. She must accept that I won't be there anymore. But, in gratitude for everything, I'll __give my best to save her._

-Thank you.-I said.

-I will do my best to repay you. Just don't expect too much.-

I left the room before she could answer. When I closed the door, I stood for few moments just looking at them. By closing that door, I had cut all connections with my old life. There was no coming back, even if I save her.

In those thoughts, I have forgotten where I was and who was in the same corridor with me.

-Lock the door, Keira.-Jonathan whispered on my ear.

I flinched. He was so close to me again.

-I will.-I said, trying to prevent my voice from shaking.

-Move away from me first.-

I thought in a second he was like a wild animal. He could feel my fear. He grabbed me, turned me around and push me against the door. His hands were holding me tight, I couldn't move. His eyes were starring at mine so penetrative that I could imagine his glance boring a hole through my brain. But, I couldn't take my eyes of them, like I was hypnotized.

-You won't be telling me what to do.-he whispered.

-I 'm not Jace or Clary. I 'm not as weak as they are. I will hurt you.-

_Snap out of it, Keira_. I ordered myself.

Luckily, I succeeded. He made it easier because he was questioning my courage and skills.

-I would like to see you try.-I growled.

-The only reason why you are succeeding in keeping me here is your daemon army. I admit, I can't beat them all. But, if you weren't a coward, you would fight against me yourself. Then we would see who is stronger between us.-

Rage grew in his eyes. That was my chance.

_Accept it._ I wished._ Accept it and I will beat you up. You have done enough damage to my life. I want my revenge and I will have it._

But, as before, he was again in control. Features of his face relaxed, but he still didn't let me go.

-You are so smart, Keira.-he smiled.

-I have to admit, you are cunning. You have almost tricked me. I have almost let myself to increase your chances to flee.-

-I still think you are a coward.-I answered, cursing the fact that he didn't fall on my trick and trying to achieve that through second try.

His head got too close. His lips were on my ear. I tried to rouse, but he held me too tight. I couldn't move.

-You are so unfair to me.-his breath tickled my ear.

-I give you compliments, you return me insults.-

I took deep breath, trying to calm down. But, it didn't help, in fact, it made it worse. Since Jonathan was so close to me, my nostrils were full of his scent. The bad part was that his skin smelled pleasantly. It was like exotic fruit that could make me addicted to it if I eat it too much. It misted up all my reasonable thoughts and left nothing but instincts to guide me. Usually, my instincts were working along my sense. Now they were on their own and had no good intention.

-Maybe I find your compliments too boring.-I whispered in his ear which was right in front of my face. But, my voice was different than before and he noticed it.

His eyes seemed confused for the first time since I have met him. Then they focused and he was smiling again.

-If I didn't know better, I would say that you have just been flirting with me.-

I gave him one small seductive smile.

-It's a pity that you don't know better then.-

He let go my left arm and used his now free hand to caress my face. His fingers crossed my left cheek and my chin and stopped on my lips. His touch was gently, like he wasn't sure what he was doing. But, somehow, I knew exactly bit his fingertip playfully, like a kitten.

-I have let one of your arms and you still haven't tried to run away.-he said like he was on biology lecture, taking notes about some interesting animal.

Deep in my head I knew I supposed to do something else instead of what I have been doing right now. His words woke up sleepy part of my mind, but it was still far from taking control. I have still been too focused on Jonathan's face. The only thing on my mind was still pleasure. I didn't care about anything I knew about Jonathan, I could only see his seductive lips in front of me.

When I didn't answer, he continued to talk.

-I could never imagine that you'll react like this ...-

-Like what?-I interrupted him. My hand separated from the wall and now it was gliding down his cheekbone.

-Like this.-he said and suddenly his lips started to get closer to mine.

He was handsome. Darkness in his eyes was attractive to me. It was the opposite of those eyes I have often dreamt about. It was darkness against light, onyx against gold.

_Jace! _I remembered._ What am I doing?_

It was like waking up. I could finally glance clearly. There was no mist in my mind. And I was looking at Jonathan who was going to kiss me.

_Over my dead body._ I removed my hand from his face and swung.

Punch was strong and clear. I hit his chin and forced him to let go my other arm. He was completely surprised by my sudden action. His temporary disorientation gave me few seconds of advantage. I started to run, trying to remember how did we come here three days ago. I was difficult because all the rooms looked the same. If I miss just one door, my chance to get away will be gone.

I ran through corridors of Wayland's Manor, trying to orientate in that labyrinth. I managed to pass couple of doors without meeting any guard. I was suspicious about that, but continued to run. It wasn't my fault if Jonathan was convinced that I'll never escape.

I climbed up the stairs that I remembered to lead towards the door through I could escape out of Manor. It seemed like centuries ago that I had entered through them with Jace.

_Thanks, Jace. _I smiled on a thought of him._ You saved me of kissing Jonathan without even knowing it. But, you'll never know, because you would tease me forever if I told you._

My distraction cost me. I didn't notice a person crossing my path, so I crashed into her.

We both fell on the floor.

-Keira?-I heard familiar voice.

I got up and stretched out my hand.

-C'mon, Nathaniel! We must run now!-

He took my hand and I pulled him on his feet. Then I started to run, pulling him. But, his legs couldn't keep my rhythm of running, so he was slowing me down. I wanted to flee, but I couldn't leave him.

_You promised, Keira. _I told myself._ You promised that you'll save him. You promised_ _that to Elizabeth as well. You must keep at least one of those promises._

But, suddenly men started to come out of every corridor around us. Even though I have heard no alarm, Jonathan has somehow told them that I escaped. Since I had no other weapon, I started to punch everything around me that was moving except Nathaniel. I broke few bones, knocked down at least six or seven men. I was too fast for most of them, but for every man I hurt, two of them filled his place.

I was getting more tired every second. I couldn't hold on much longer and Jonathan's men were like river that doesn't dry upcoming closer and closer. Soon, one of them grabbed Nathaniel. I tried to set him free, but the other men were already around me and I couldn't get through. At last, two of them grabbed my arms and I was too tired to even try to kick them with my legs. I hung in their arms like a cloth, catching every breath like it was the last one.

Jonathan soon appeared among his men. He looked me with entertained expression on his face.

-Well done, Keira.-he said.

-I 'm really impressed. No one has ever tricked me that way.-

Despite of fatigue, I managed to smile ironically.

-C'mon, Jonathan. Why don't you admit in front of your men how I really fooled you?-

I was hoping to make him look weak. All this men must have been working for him because he seemed so strong and unemotional. But, if they find out he was on the edge of kissing a girl, maybe that will reduce their respect towards them and give me a chance to run away.

But, Jonathan just laughed and waved his hand. Most of the men around us vanished. The only ones who left in the room was the pair who held me and the one who held Nathaniel.

-They are just daemons. They don't care. I could kiss you hundred times over and they would watch without batting an eyelid.-

I was ready to answer something, but another voice, who I didn't expected, interfered.

-He kissed you?-Nathaniel asked with almost despair in his voice.

I leant on my feet and tried to turn around so I could look at him. But daemons who held me didn't allow it, so I was forced to look Jonathan laughing like he was in a circus.

-I have almost forgotten our young lover.-he approached to Nathaniel. The daemons around me turned towards them, so I had to look Jonathan's torture.

-Yes, little one, I kissed her. And I will kiss her many more times if I want to.-Jonathan's voice was cruel.

I couldn't stand that.

-Stop it, Jonathan!-I yelled.

-He's just a kid! And his feelings are not real! If you want to torture somebody, find someone of your own size!-

He didn't turn around.

-She is so hot-blooded, isn't she?-he still glanced at Nathaniel.

-Trust me, she is even more passionate in a kiss.-

-Stop it!-Nathaniel screamed, like he couldn't hear any more of Jonathan's voice. He started to sob like a new-born child, like he was afraid of everything in the world.

I had to end his pain somehow. I had to keep Jonathan's focus on me. I could survive his torturing, both physically and mentally, I was ready for it. Nathaniel had no chance.

-He's lying, Nath!-I said loudly.

-I have never kissed him. And I will never will.-

Sobbing stopped. For a few seconds there was silence.

-Really?-I heard Nathaniel's voice.

-Of course.-I nodded.

-He has lain to you more than once, Nath. Don't trust anything he says.-

-OK, Keira.-he answered bravely.

-I won't.-

-Take him away.-Jonathan's cold voice interrupted our talk.

In a second, Nathaniel was gone and the daemons were carrying me back to my "dungeon". Jonathan was walking in front of us like he was just crowned king of world. He was so proud of himself because he prevented my escape.

-I must admit, I have underestimated you.-I heard his voice.

-I have never thought that some girl would have such influence on me. But, you are not like other girls, are you, Keira?-

-Of course not.-I growled.

-Other girls wouldn't hit you as strong as I did.-

Jonathan waved his hand again, and suddenly I was on the floor. Daemons around me vanished, so I had to get up on my own if I didn't want to swallow half of ton of dust. But, when I stood straight, Jonathan's hands grabbed my upper arms.

-You allow yourself too much.-his squeeze strengthened.

-I've told you already; I'll hurt you if you force me to.-

_No fear, Keira. _I told myself._ It's the only way. No fear._

-Why don't you do it then? You'll never get what you want from me.-I starred in his black eyes, pretending to be indifferent.

He stood in silence for a few moments, not capable of answering. He needed me for something, he needed me alive and in one piece. That was my advantage. I should use it.

-What do you want from me anyway?-I asked.

-You didn't ask me in exchange for Clary just to tell me ... -

Now I was the one who couldn't speak. After I had talked to my "not real" mother, I didn't have time to think about Jonathan's story. But, now it all came back to me. And, at the same time turned the advantage back to Jonathan.

-To tell you that you are devil's descendant?-he laughed.

-No, I didn't exchange Clary for you because of that. I want you to do something for me.-

-What?-I managed to speak, but not more than one word.

-To help me complete my father's quest. To give me power over the world.-

Shock and unbelieving were mixed up in me, but I was still able to think logically.

-Why would I do that?-I laughed, trying to hide my true feelings from him.

Jonathan was ready for that question.

-You see, I have found notes that my father left. I have read them and learnt something about your kind.-

-My kind?-I was angry and confused. He couldn't talk about me like I was some kind of animal. And he couldn't be saying that there was more people like me.

-Yes.-he nodded.

-You aren't the only one with Lucifer's blood. My father's associates all around the world tested that blood on many other children. They wanted to learn what kind of changes it causes. And they did.-

I was unable to hide my feelings now. I was shaken, frightened and amazed by his words. At the same time I wanted it to be true and not to be. I didn't want anyone to share all the bad consequences that were coming with that blood, but I was also happy that there was someone on this planet that could understand me.

Curled in my thoughts, I didn't answer, so Jonathan continued to talk.

-All this people lose their temper really fast. They can't stand being held back. They need five seconds to start a fight. Authority means nothing to them. Their favorite tone of voice is sarcastic.-

There was no single detail in his words that didn't match me completely. Everything fit right in, my character, my adoption. I had no other choice but accept his words. My origin perhaps was shocking, but at least now I knew the truth. I have always preferred brutal truth above most beautiful lies.

-OK, I get it. I 'm like that.-I admitted.

-You still haven't said why I would do anything for you.-

-That's the interesting part.-he smiled.

-You see, despite having Lucifer's blood in your veins, you are still part human. And your acts decide about the strength of your sides. If you are good, human side is stronger. If you are bad, devil side is stronger.-

_Then I 'm on a highway to hell._ I thought, considering all my deeds. I was mean to people, mocking them all the time, I was bad-tempered, I punched, I sworn. I had no idea what part of me could be in favor of human side.

_I haven't kissed Jace. I haven't hurt Clary._ I remembered._ I haven't mock to Alec because he's gay. I haven't mock to Simon and Isabelle about being in love. I have comforted Jace when he was sad. I have taken care of Nathaniel. I 'm not so bad. There isn't just devil side in me._

These thoughts gave me the strength. I could face Jonathan.

-So what? I know you are evil. Of course I won't do anything for you.-

-Yes, you will.-he smiled confidently.

-I have told you the truth about you. Now you have to give me something in return. Otherwise, your devil side will grow stronger and we both know that you are already balancing on the edge. In all the notes I have found it's written that you can come back from the good side, but from the bad side there is no return. Besides, even if you take the risk and decide not to listen, there are other ways to force you. I keep the woman who was your mother for a long time and that little boy who is charmed by your powers. I know you can't allow yourself to let them down.-

I remembered an event that happened before we came to the Manor, the moment Jace had tried to kiss me. I remembered that feeling like I would have fallen over the edge if I hadn't stopped him. I knew Jonathan was telling the truth. I was already on the edge. And I couldn't let down Nathaniel and my mother. I had to save them.

-How will I do that?-it was hard for me to admit the defeat. It was even harder than watching Jonathan enjoying his victory.

-I knew you'll agree.-he laughed.

-Come with me. I have to give you the song you must sing for me.-

He let me go and daemons suddenly showed up again. They grabbed my arms and followed Jonathan's steps, pulling me along. The way we walked was in mist to me. I was thinking about all that I had heard. I couldn't focuse on following the way. So I was surprised when the daemons seated me on a chair in front of the computer. Jonathan, who was sitting on the back of my chair, clicked something on the screen and suddenly the music filled the room.

I was expecting some rock song that will make me deaf, but instead it was a gentle song called "Everything is yours". It was sung by Audrey Assad. In some other circumstances I would find it comfortable to hear, but now I was frightened. It would give Jonathan all the power he wanted. Nobody would be able to beat him.

He felt my tension and laughed.

-I see you get the point, Keira. This is the song I want you to sing.-

_Think, Keira, think! _I ordered to myself. I couldn't fulfill his wish. If I do, most of humanity won't survive the next day. I had to delay this.

-I have heard this song for the first time.-I swallowed saliva, trying to stay calm.

-I can't sing it right.-

-No problem.-Jonathan said cheerfully.

-You'll hear it one more time.-

-That's not enough.-I shook my head.

-I need more time. I have to listen it many more times just to remember the words and then melody and rhythm and all.-

Jonathan caught my glance and kept it. He was trying to catch me in a lie. It wasn't completely a lie, so I could stare back without trouble. I have already memorized most of the words and melody, but I had to stall as long as I could. One small half-life couldn't throw me over the edge yet. I had to find a way to run away before he forces me to make him the most powerful living creature.

-OK.-he said calmly.

-You have three days. This is your new room. You'll stay here until you sing me that song right.-

He got up and went towards the door. I thought he'll say no more, but he turned once more.

-Don't try to trick me. If you do, I'll kill your little fan.-I guessed he was thinking of Nath.

He left the room then and so did his daemons. I heard the door locking. I was alone in the room with open computer. I tried to turn on the Internet so I could send an e-mail to someone, but there was no signal. All that was on the screen were file of the song and Recycle bin. I tried to delete the song, but I couldn' there was a threat to Nath's life. I had to listen. I opened the song once again and let my mind to lose in the music.

* * *

I have been sleepy for some time. It was boring to listen the same song again and again and it was slow so I couldn't get used to it. I sat in a chair, trying to find position that will be comfortable enough to get some sleep.

When I finally found the position, I heard someone unlocking the door.

_Has it been three days already?_ I wondered, suddenly completely awake.

But, the face that came in was Nathaniel's. He was smiling while he entered the room. He was carrying a platter with a sandwich and cup of something on it.

-Nath?-I asked in surprise.

-What are you doing here?-

-I was sent to bring you food, Keira.-he was delighted by that duty.

He put the platter on the desk next to computer and came next to me.

-What are you doing?-he asked with hope in his voice, like he thought I was doing something fun that he could take part in.

I yawned to show him he was wrong.

-I 'm trying not to fall asleep.-I laughed.

He was confused.

-Why? If you want to sleep, do it.-

_Mind of a child is so simple._ I laughed again._ If only I could be a child again. Everything __was better at that time._

-Unfortunately, I can't.-I said.

-If you can't sleep, I'll sing you a lullaby.-he offered in a second, without waiting the rest of my answer.

-What lullaby would you sing to me?-I was entertained by his words.

-The one you sang to me.-he answered immediately.

I raised my eyebrows.

-You remember it?-after all he had heard it only once.

He nodded.

-Yes!-he didn't stop smiling.

-Do you want to hear it?-

I was tired, half in my sleep. There was absolutely no reason to decline.

-Yes, I do.-

I found my comfortable position again and closed my eyes. I let all my thoughts to focus on Nathaniel's voice. He had few false tones, but he was singing really well. I got completely lost in words and melody and before the song ended, I was sleeping.

* * *

I woke up and stretched. Something, or better to say, someone was laying on me. When my glance focused, I noticed it was Nathaniel's shook him gently.

-Nath, wake up. You must go now.-

He opened his eyes, still in half-sleep. But, when his glance met mine, he jumped like he was bullet fired out of a gun. He moved away from me.

-Nath, what's going on?-I asked, confused.

He looked around.

-Why aren't we-e in th-a-at room anym-o-ore?-his voice was shaking like in the first time I've met him.

-You came here to bring me food.-I said.

-Don't you remember?-

He shook his head. That made me a bit uncomfortable. I didn't want to speak about him being in love with me. But, I had to mention it. That was the thing he will most probably remember.

-Nath, you told me that you loved me.-I laughed, trying not to sound serious.

-You have to remember that.-

On my surprise, he shook his head again.

-I didn't.-

-You don't remember that?-I asked again.

-I didn't tell you that. I 'm hundred percent sure.-he looked me seriously, like I had to believe him, not the other way around.

His answer and confidence in truthfulness of his words made me suspicious.

-What do you last remember?-I got up and came closer to him. His answer on this question was very important.

He showed a bit of fear because of my sudden approach, but he answered.

-You gave me bread and water. Then you sang something to me. I can't remember the words.-he said the last sentence like I could punch him because of his mistake.

But, my mood was far away from that. In fact, I was so happy that I could lift him in the air and kiss him.

_I knew it!_ I was singing in my thoughts._ There is a way to break the spell! All I have to do is to make Jace sing "Safe and sound" to me and everything will be all right! I won't kiss __him and I won't become evil! _

I wanted to hug Nathaniel because of discovery he helped me to find it. But, before I could do that, the door opened again. Jonathan came in and looked at us.

-Kid, what are you doing?-he growled in Nathaniel's direction.

Nathaniel was shaking again.

-Nothing. She said that I had told her that I loved her.-

_No, Nath! _I realized his mistake too late. Jonathan now knew that I knew how to break the spells caused by my singing. And he was furious about it.

-You idiot!-he grabbed Nathaniel's arm and threw him against the other wall. His strength was amazing and it was causing goose bumps on my skin. I haven't seen Jonathan so angry yet. And I wasn't all the same to me. For a few seconds I stood like a statue, frozen in shock. In that time, Jonathan grabbed Nathaniel again and brought him in front of me.

-Sing the song or I'll break his neck.-he ran out of patience.

I felt my body moving again so I shook my head.

-I can't. I wasn't enough time.-

I was lying and Jonathan could feel it as well as I did. Rage was growing in my eyes and I was losing control. I wanted to punch him. I've had enough of his arrogance.

-Sing.-he ordered.

I didn't intend to be obedient any more. Not without getting what I wanted.

-Let him go and I will.-

We stared in each other for a second and then I heard noise. Noise that was produced by broken bones. By broken neck. Then there was another sound. Something fell on the floor. It was a dead body. Nathaniel's dead body.

In the moment I realized that, darkness fell on my mind. There was no way to stop it. It consumed me, streaming through every cell of my body like it was just oxygen. It burned me from the inside, making me think of the most painful ways of torturing and killing. I couldn't control that fire, that hatred. All the thoughts in my head were now inosculating in a single word: revenge.

I had no weapons, but I didn't care. I started to go towards Jonathan, who waved his showed up all around me and started to grab me, trying to stop me.

On the first touch of daemons' skin, I lost everything that was making me human. On that spot started a dark hole in my memory. It felt like waking up when I grabbed Jonathan's T-shirt. I came back from that black hole and now I was staring at him.

He was so different that before. He had enormous dark rings under his black eyes, like he hasn't slept for weeks. His skin was paler than Simon's. I could feel his heart beating fast and loudly. His face was full of scratches and blood, like he was beaten. He couldn't stand, so I guessed one of his legs was broken.

_He was beaten._ I realized._ I have beaten him. Somehow I've beaten him and his __daemons. But, I can't remember how I have done that. But, doesn't matter now._

-You'll show me the way to my mother's room and that out of the Manor.-I ordered, looking him exactly in the eyes.

He nodded his head, breathing heavily. Maybe he had few broken ribs. I didn't care. I let him fall on the floor, exactly like he let Nathaniel's body.

-Get up.-I growled.

I came up to Nathaniel's body and lifted it gently, like he was still alive, just sleeping. I felt brittleness of his broken bones on my arm, so I had to be extremely careful not to make even bigger damage. He was dead and I knew it would make no difference, but it still mattered to me. I didn't intend to leave him here, in the place that frightened him. I was determined to take his body with me and to find a proper place to bury him. A glance on his face almost moved me to tears, but I held them back. There had to be no weakness in me now, no emotions. I was cold-blooded rationalist, ready to kill anyone on my way.

I turned towards Jonathan.

-Move.-my voice was cruel and I knew it. He could barely stand and I was enjoying in making him walking.

After some time, which was boring because of Jonathan's slowness, we came to the room in which my mother was. I forced Jonathan to open the door with one single glance.

When my mother recognized us, she stood up.

-Come with us.-I said, not willing to give her chance to weak me in any way.

She felt anger and impatience in my voice, so she didn't ask anything. Jonathan led us further through the house. After some wandering through that labyrinth of corridors, we finally got out. There was starry night above our heads. I could feel refreshing wind on my face. I gave myself a moment to take a deep breath. I was finally free again.

After few seconds, I turned towards Elizabeth. She was watching me closely.

-You'll have to find a way back to New York on your own.-I said, not thinking at all how she'll do it. This was the moment our paths separated. I knew I'll never see her again. My promise to her was fulfilled. I have saved her from Jonathan's captivity. There was nothing else I could or wanted to do for her.

She noticed that and she knew we will never see each other again. But, she accepted that fact with tranquility I didn't expect from her.

-Farewell, Keira.-she said.

-I'll never forget you.-

I didn't answer and she disappeared in the dark without any other word. I had more important things to deal with. I turned around, looking for Jonathan, and suddenly felt danger. I made a step to the right, but didn't drag out completely. Seraph Blade that should have gone into my stomach drove into my thigh. I felt pain streaming through it, but I ignored it. Rage was again in me, burning desire to kill. I was again on the edge, I could feel it, but I wasn't sure that I won't fall this time.

I let Nathaniel's body out of my right hand and kicked the place I knew Jonathan was. I could hear his breathing, feel his touch. My hit found his chest and broke few more ribs. I grabbed his T-shirt again.

-Give me one good reason not to kill you.-I growled, letting him to hear how close to that deed I was.

I heard his laugh.

-You'll fall over the edge, Keira. In the case that you already haven't.-

-It would worth it.-I laughed loudly, enjoying the thought of my fists beating him to the death. I needed no other weapon, they were deadly enough.

He sighed, like he gave up.

-Then do it.-

He wanted to set free my devil side. He knew that his murder would do it. I focused on Nathaniel's body in my other hand. It reminded me that I have seen enough deaths today. I didn't have to commit one myself.

I shook my head.

-I have better punishment for you.-I smiled.

I took my breath and started to sing. After few minutes I looked to the sky and orientated according to stars. When I figured out where the north was, we started to walk. I led us to only place that I wanted to go now and it waited us in the east.

* * *

As the length of our trip was reducing, I was feeling much weaker and weaker. I started to feel all my injuries that I picked up during the fight against Jonathan's daemons. I didn't notice them before because my body had still been full of adrenaline from fight. I had felt invincible and like I could beat all those daemons all over again. I hadn't felt pain, I hadn't noticed scratches, broken bones or blood. That had been for ordinary mortals, not for me, the ruthless angel of darkness.

But, as I put one leg in front of another, I felt the adrenaline abandoning me. My legs were heavy, like they were made of iron. Nathaniel's body seemed with every step like I was carrying car, not a skinny boy. Almost every part of my body was covered in blood, my own blood. Because of its loss, I was feeling dizzy. I was looking around with mist in my eyes. I have barely kept myself on feet. I didn't even have strength to keep my head straight all the time, so I spent most of our walk looking towards the ground.

My only relief was that I had no problem with Jonathan. After I had sang "Follow me" by Muse to him, he followed me like an obedient puppy. But, the catch in the song was that it said he will follow me "when the darkness falls". I knew that verse was figurative, but I interpreted it in a different way. But, that meant I could keep Jonathan under control just until dawn. And whenever I managed to raise my head and look in front of us, Idris was nowhere in our sight. I wasn't sure if we will get to it on time. I knew I had no strength left and that I will be helpless against him. My hurt thigh and his broken leg were slowing us down, but he wasn't losing blood as I did. My hands were shaking like we were standing in the middle of South pole, but I kept on going. I had to hold on. I thought about Jace almost all the time. The fact that I had found the way to break the spell I accidently charmed him with was the only thing that gave me strength. There was possibility that the spell won't be broken in case of my death. I couldn't take that risk. I had to be sure that it will be.

After some time, which seemed like hours to me, the thing I feared was happening. The amount of light was increasing. I could see Nathaniel's face much better. He looked like he was sleeping, curled up in some nice dream. But, there was no breathing, no heartbeat in his chest. That glance again almost made me to cry, but again I managed to control myself. I raised my head once again, just to avoid looking at him.

But, the sight in front of me made me feel better. We were few hundred meters away from the door that led into a city. The city could only be Idris, the City of Glass. I have heard stories about it, about its enormous towers that protected it from daemons, about its perfect built. They were instructions good enough to recognize it, but not good enough to describe it. It was magnificent, beyond imagination. On weak light the glass shone in all colors imaginable, depending on refraction. But, the colors weren't exaggerated, they shone in harmony, like every one supplemented the one next to it. I was fascinated so much that I could spend days just starring at it. It felt like I had died without noticing and now I was in heaven. But I roused myself; I had a job to do.

I started to walk again towards the gates. After I had stopped, it was even harder to walk again. My legs were betraying me, my breathing was heavier, my dizziness was getting worse with every step.

_C'mon, Keira. _I encouraged myself._ It's so close. You can't give up now. You must deliver Jonathan to Shadowhunters. You must make sure to bury Nathaniel properly. You must see Jace, tell him to sing "Safe and sound". You must leave him to Clary. That's the right thing._

I made steps and the gates were getting closer. Finally I could see people inside of Idris. Most of them minded their own business, but some of them looked at us. I cleaned my throat, hoping they'll react before the charm of my song on Jonathan was gone.

-I have a fugitive here!-I yelled as loud as I could, pointing out at Jonathan.

A woman came closer to us, still staying in the borders of Idris.

-Who are you?-she asked.

I didn't have time for questioning. The dawn was near and I was weaker every second.

-Bring Jace Lightwood here! He knows me!-I demanded, still pointing at Jonathan.

-And I need someone to capture him! He's Jonathan Morgenstern!-

At the moment I uttered Jonathan's name, something moved in my hands. I looked down and found myself starring at Nathaniel's eyes. But his eyes weren't brown anymore, they were as black as Jonathan's. I couldn't separate my eyes from his, completely shocked by the fact he was alive and by his sudden change. I stood as petrified, trying to explain this event to myself.

My shock was his advantage. In a second he stretched out his hands and grabbed my neck. I didn't react in time and I felt losing my breath. His small hands were stronger than mine, which lost all of their strength. I couldn't raise them, I couldn't defend myself. I was at his mercy and I didn't hope he'll show any.

_He's also a daemon. _my tired mind managed to notice._ How I didn't notice that? Everyone in Jonathan's house beside Jonathan himself were daemons, true daemons. How could I be so stupid?_

I was losing consciousness. Nathaniel's squeeze was getting tighter. I couldn't get rid of him, no matter how much I tried. I was just too weak. I wasn't even able to speak.

_Not yet, please. _I prayed, although I thought I shouldn't. I supposed Lucifer's descendants weren't worthy enough of God's answers on their prayers._ I have to free Jace form the spell. I must tell him to sing to me. I can't die now._

I didn't believe into miracles. I have never witnessed one and I have never thought I will.

But, suddenly, I felt my airways were passable again. I could breath. There were no hands around my neck. I was laying on the ground, trying to stay conscious. Now that I was free and on the edge of falling into darkness, there was only one thing on my mind.

-Jace.-I mumbled.

-I need Jace Lightwood.-

-I 'm here.-I heard familiar voice.

But, I was losing myself already. I couldn't make sense out of these words.

-Tell him that he has to sing to me.-I breathed heavily.

-He must sing my lullaby to me.-

At the moment I uttered that, I stopped fighting. It had no use now I had said what I needed to. I let darkness to fall on me and I wasn't feeling anything anymore.

* * *

_... You and I'll be_

_safe and sound..._

_I have heard these words before._ I thought._ I can't remember when or from whom, but I __have. I have to know._

-Na-na-na-na-na ... -mumbling continued. The melody was familiar too.

I forced myself with pure strength of will to open my eyes. I knew I should be resting, because I still felt exhausted, but I was too curious. That has always been one of my weaknesses.

I was laying in bed in a room that looked like a hospital room. After darkness behind my eyelids, I had to get used to the light. I covered my eyes with hand and let myself slowly adjust to light. When I did, I looked around. Almost everything around me was white and smelled of disinfectant. It really was a hospital room. But, it didn't interest me much. I was more interested in a young man who was sitting next to my bed. His hair was blond and his eyes were gold. His face was calm and serious. For a few moments we stared at each other without a single word, but then I remembered his name.

-Jace.-I said. I couldn't remember anything to add at the moment.

His face expression didn't change, he didn't show relief or happiness.

-How are you feeling, Keira?-he asked.

-Fine.-I shrugged my shoulders.

-A bit tired, but fine.-

He nodded.

-Good.-

We stood in silence for a few seconds again. I tried to remember all that had happened before I fell asleep. That gave me a headache, but my memories slowly came back.

-What happened with Jonathan?!-I shouted in panic.

-Did he escape? I enchanted him, but I don't know if the dawn came already ... -

When I realized Jace was confused by my words, I stopped. He didn't know anything about what I really was.

-We captured him. He's in prison right now.-Jace calmed me.

-The Clave will decide what to do with him.-

He tried to sound indifferently and succeeded. But, I noticed his nostrils spreading. He wasn't indifferent, no matter how much he pretended to be.

-What do you think they'll do to him?-I asked carefully, not wanting to make him angry.

There was silence again between us for maybe a whole minute.

-I don't know.-he said finally.

-And I don't care. I just want never to see him again.-

I nodded in understanding. I wanted that too. He ruined my life in almost every way. I didn't want him to have another chance in the future.

But, I had to talk with Jace now about things that were in their own way more unpleasant than conversation about Jonathan. I had to know if my spell was broken.

-Jace,-I started.

-What do you remember from the moment we have gone to save Clary?-

_He seems back to normal now, but I have to be sure. If he doesn't remember anything, __then it's broken._ in the same time I was impatiently waiting his answer and scared of it.

His face became even more serious.

-I thought you might ask that.-he said.

-I remember everything. Although I wish I don't.-

I was shocked again.

_It didn't work!_ I wanted to scream. _But, how? Is that because Jace isn't daemon? How'll I __ever fix that?_

-But, didn't you sing me?-I tried to keep my voice calm.

-I've said to someone to tell you that you must sing "Safe and sound" to me. That should break the spell.-

He shrugged his shoulders.

-You've told that to me. And I have done so. I was singing to you the whole night. I have no idea how many times I have repeated that song hoping that it'll wake you up.-

My heart was beating faster and faster with his every word. I couldn't stop it. I knew I shouldn't be happy about it, it should never have happened.

I didn't' answer, so he continued to talk.

-In some point, I woke up. I didn't feel the same as before. At least not so much.-

I didn't understand what he wanted to say.

-What do you mean?-I was confused. He wasn't one hundred percent back to his old self.

He took deep breath, like he was about to run race on hundred meters along Usain Bolt.

-I remember the time I was in love with Clary.-his voice wasn't calm as before.

-And I remember the time I was in love with you. I ...-

-But, I don't understand.-I interrupted him.

-You shouldn't remember anything about being in love with me. Nathaniel didn't remember a thing after he had sung to me.-

For a moment, Jace was confused.

-Who's Nathaniel?-

-That boy who ... -I stopped. My words weren't correct.

-The daemon in boy's body. The one who tried to strangle me.-

-He sang to you?-Jace asked.

-Why would a daemon do that?-

-I cast a spell on him by singing too.-I said, blushing a bit. I had to choose my words carefully.

-I thought he was human and he seemed so scared, so I sang lullaby to him as well. But, I also wanted to prove that wasn't my fault you had been acting weirdly.-

-It turned out to be your fault.-a smile was hiding in the corners of Jace's lips. Lips which, not so long ago, wanted to kiss me.

-Yes.-I nodded, trying to act as ordinary as possible.

-I 'm sorry for that. I didn't know it's going to happen.-

Jace's face became serious again.

-And now you do know why it happened?-

It had to come to this, I knew. I had to admit him the truth.

-Yes. Jonathan told me everything.-I said sadly.

He noticed change in my voice.

-Maybe you should tell me.-despite of everything, there was still concern in his voice.

_Trust him, Keira. _I told myself._ He deserves the truth, no matter how horrible it is._

I gave up all caution and my logical thoughts about keeping the truth for myself. He deserved to know. I have messed up his and Clary's relationship. I owned him an explanation.

I told him all that I had found out in Wayland's Manor. All about Lucifer's blood, my legacy, my special powers, everything. The only thing I kept for myself was the fact how many times thoughts of him kept me alive there. I couldn't admit him that I was in love with him. It would be selfish and I couldn't afford myself to be selfish. Not if I wanted to keep him in any kind of way. If my devil side overpowers my human side, Jace will kill me, I didn't doubt. Especially now when he knew the truth.

He wasn't scared by the things I have told him or he showed that he wanted never to see me again. I felt relief because of that. But, some feelings that I couldn't recognize were still on his face and I couldn't be calm completely until we deal with everything that troubled us.

-So, you said that Nathaniel didn't remember that you had sung to him?-he asked and there was more than curiosity in his voice.

-Yes.-I confirmed.

-I think it was because he was daemon. Maybe my powers affect daemons that way.-

Jace didn't answer, but after few moments he sighed.

-I don't think so.-for the first time since I have known him, he had troubles with finding the right words.

-I think the reason he didn't remember his love for you is because he didn't really love you. So, it was like a dream he couldn't remember for him.-

-But, you remember.-I realized the meaning of his words at the moment I have spoken.

-But, you ...-

-At the time you sang to me, I believed I was in love only with Clary.-honesty of Jace's words was at the same time crushing and healing my heart.

-Since I've met you, I was watching you. At first, I was just curious. You were so different from every other girl that I have ever met, even then Clary. You were so fanatic about the trainings and losing your mother didn't bother you. I wanted to know what was going on inside your head. But, as the time has passed, I started to like being around you. I have finally found someone similar to me, someone who understands the way I have felt almost my entire life, the way I feel even now from time to time.-

For the first time in my life, I didn't have courage to speak. Jace took his breath, then continued.

-I told myself that it was nothing, that I love only Clary. But, obviously, I was wrong.-he shrugged his shoulders.

-I 'm sure I couldn't remember everything that happened if a part of me wasn't really in love with you. As much as simple it would be it isn't true, it is.-

I couldn't take my glance of his golden eyes. They were honest and brave. It took a lot of courage to admit something like that, considering all the complications it was bringing along.

-And now?-I finally dared to ask.

He was silent, just staring at me. I expected his answer with anxiety.

-I don't know.-he said at last.

-I love Clary, but I can't deny that I have feelings for you. Feelings that surpass friendship.-

When he said that, a battle rose inside me. I have sensed more intensively than ever dissension in me. My human side instructed me to do the right thing and move away from Jace. The devil side insisted to take him for myself. I was tempted to do just that, to let my selfish wishes to be satisfied. I wanted him so bad, I wanted his kisses, and I wanted his love.

_But, if I made him to love merit isn't real love._ I remembered my doubt about the question if Jace was worthy of fake love. Like then, I couldn't decide._ But fake love isn't worthy losing my human side. I'll be selfish again, but for the right purpose._

-I'll leave then.-I said.

-I'll leave you two alone. Forget about me.-

He shook his head.

-You know I can't do that. As long as I think there is hope, I'll never give up. That's who I am.-I saw fire burning in his eyes again.

It hurt me to know that I had to refuse him. His words meant so much to me. No one has ever really loved me in my life and one angel-boy did, at least partly. It wasn't fair that I had to reject him and his love. But, it had to be done. And the only way to do that was to hurt him.

-Why do you think there is hope?-I did my best to make my voice sound truly arrogant.

-I have never said I 'm in love with you. You have just supposed that.-

-Tell me then.-he challenged me.

-Tell me that you aren't in love with me. Tell me that you don't love me.-

This was one true test in my life that I had to pass, no matter what. I had to act better than Oscar winners. The thing I was about to tell him was a lie. And I had to make it true. It was mission impossible.

_I have Lucifer's blood in my veins. He doesn't love anybody. If I wake up a bit of my devil __side, maybe I could do this. _But, I had to be extremely careful. I needed just a bit of darkness in me. I couldn't let it all come out. Otherwise, I could become a monster again and this time it wouldn't be the daemons who would get hurt. It would be my beloved angel.

_Stop it, Keira. _I ordered to myself._ You don't love him. You can't love. Not truly. In your __nature you are too evil to love._

I looked deep into his eyes. I stared, not into their gold, but in blackness of their pupils. I saw there blackness of Jonathan's eyes. I didn't love them. I couldn't love them. I could be honest.

-I don't love you.-I said determinedly.

-You know now what I have in my veins. That means I can't love. Not you, not anyone.-

We stared at each other. Jace tried to find the lie on my face and I tried to hide it. I let my dark side to come in front and cover the truth like a curtain. I was cold and indifferent. My fortress was around me again. And I was forbidding Jace to ever conquer its walls again.

After some time I couldn't guess how long it lasted, intensity of his glance failed. He was forced to accept my words. They hurt him, I saw it, although he tried not to show it. I admired his courage and strength, but I stayed calm.

-If you can't love me, I hope that you'll accept me at least as a friend.-I could see in his eyes that he truly meant that words, it wasn't just some "break-up sentence".

-Despite of everything, you are the best friend I have ever had.-

I nodded calmly.

-I would be glad. I can say the same for you.-

He managed to smile.

-I won't disturb you anymore. Get some rest.-he walked towards the door.

When he opened it, he turned around once more.

-Goodbye, Keira.-his voice became a whisper.

_Farewell, Jace. You won't see me again. You don't know that yet, but it's true. _I looked at his golden eyes once again, trying to remember their color, their shape, their brilliance. They were like two diamonds that I'll carry in my heart for the rest of my life. I didn't want to forget any detail.

-Bye, Jace.-his name on my lips was bitter-sweet, as well as my whole love for him was.

At the moment he left the room, I have finally given up. I let my human side to celebrate its victory, bathing it with more tears than I have ever cried out in my life.

* * *

-I knew you'll run away.-

I have just run out of hospital. I had had no intentions to meet Jace ever again. I had to leave during the night, like a thief sneaking through streets of Idris. Until now, no one was on my way, no one noticed my presence. I was careful and skillful in passing unnoticed, but when I got out on the fresh air, someone was already waiting for me. And it was maybe the last person I wanted to say goodbye.

-What are you doing here, Shorty?-I asked, looking in the shadows where her voice was coming from.

She stood out on the moonlight and faced me.

-You are a coward, Keira.-she spat out.

-You can't even face me after what you had done to Jace. You want him for yourself.-

Like the first time we had met, I wanted so badly to punch her. She had no idea what she was talking about and along that ignorance she insulted me. But, I forced myself to calm down. I have tried so hard to give Jace back to her. It would turn useless if I killed her now.

-Listen, Shorty.-I said quietly, not wanting anyone to hear our conversation.

-I have tried a lot to save your relationship. You should be thanking me, instead of challenging me to kick your ass again. And, since it seems you are alone here, there is no Jace to save you now. So, get out of my way.-

She didn't move.

_I guess this will be longer night than I've expected._ I sighed. I didn't want to be disturbed in my escape, but Shorty had no understanding.

-You knew we are in love with each other and you still couldn't hold yourself back. You are so selfish. You had to have him for yourself.-

-Maybe you should ask yourself why he fell in love with me.-I was getting angry.

-Obviously you don't understand him as well as you think.-

Even though it was dark, I could see her blushing. She was ashamed and, in my opinion, she deserved to be.

-Our relationship isn't your business.-she tried to sound strictly, but she sounded like a child trying not to cry.

-And Jace isn't either. I know him. I 'm the one he loves. And you can't change that, no matter what you do.-

_You want to bet?_ I almost laughed to her. But I didn't want to share knowledge of my powers with her. If Jace, her boyfriend, hadn't told her, there was no reason for me to do that. She didn't deserve it anyway.

-I have never tried to make him fall in love with me. He chose to do so.-I was trying to point her out Jace is the one she should be speaking to, but there was no use. She was stubborn as a bull.

-And I suppose you have never kissed him, right?-her voice was ironical.

-For your information, I didn't.-my voice was now serious. It was the truth and I didn't joke about it, not after anything I have been through just to save their relationship.

She stared in me for a few moments, then shook her head.

-I don't believe you.-

I had enough. I wanted to end this conversation and leave her and Jace once and for all. My life would have been so much easier if I hadn't met them.

-Then I 'm sorry not to have done so. It would have made no difference if I had kissed him. I shouldn't have tried so hard to avoid it. It's obvious that your opinion would be the same.-

That shot her up. I bypassed her and move towards silent streets of Idris. But, before I could move away enough, I heard Clary's voice again.

-Where are you going?-

I didn't intend to let anyone know what my next move was. I wanted to forget all about my previous life, including the Shadowhunters. But, part of me didn't want to forget. And there was only one person who could know and who won't try to prevent me. She stood right in front of me.

-I have Lucifer's blood in my veins.-I said without being evasive.

-That gives me the power to match you Shadowhunters. I can thank your father for that.-

Her expression was shocked. Jace didn't tell her. I was grateful to him for keeping my secret, but I knew somehow Clary will do the same. With reveling them my secret, I was leaving behind something that will bring them closer together again.

I had to end my story.

-But, your brother told me I wasn't the only one. There are more people in the world like me. I'll find them and help them. I won't let them live their life in ignorance, fighting against the world without knowing why.-

I intended to do that since the moment Jonathan told me that I wasn't the only one. I knew the troubles Lucifer's blood brought to my life, all the expulsions and fights. I could prevent problems in lives of some other kids. It won't be hard to find them. If there is someone who can recognize kids that don't fit in, that was me. I knew the feeling. I knew almost all possible situations. I was a guardian angel who'll come and help them. I won't have to feel like angel of darkness ever again.

Clary nodded and for the first time we weren't mean towards one another.

-Good luck then, Keira.-she said.

I turned once again to look at her.

-Take care, Clary.-I smiled.

Her eyes widened out.

-Have you just called me Clary?-

-I guess I have.-I made a joke out of my words.

-Watch over the rest of them. Especially Jace. You know how he gets too enthusiastic about saving the world and stuff.-

She laughed.

-He'll have to let others to save the world sometimes. I'll force him.-

-I'll remember that.-I warned her.

-If I see him saving the world, I'll consider it your fault.-

She nodded.

-Deal.-

I turned away from her and hid among shadows of the houses. In the streets of the City of Glass, among the sounds of my footsteps, I was feeling happy. I have found a purpose that will fulfill my life, but I'll always carry this world and its residents in my heart, especially a couple that wore me out, but also taught me much. I hoped they will carry me in their memories as well, but it was out of my hands. I had a new journey in front of me, new people to meet, new places to see.

-Farewell.-I whispered like all of the Idris could hear me.

In the second I was out of the city and my only companion was the moonlight.


End file.
